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You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
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