Texts From Last Night · shlybrk's Favorites

shlybrk's Favorites Texts:

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(708): View more from Illinois

Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.

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(708): Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity. http://tfl.nu/m9p5

Replies (53) Good night (1502) Bad night (7690) Order T-Shirt
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(315): View more from New York

Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.

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(315): Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial. http://tfl.nu/jwzw

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(315): View more from New York

Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.

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(315): Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end. http://tfl.nu/1db0

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(949): View more from California

Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?

(1-949): View more from California

are you seriously doing this over text message

(949): View more from California

hahaha no, but i am dumping you.

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(949): Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me? (1-949): are you seriously doing this over text message (949): hahaha no, but i am dumping you. http://tfl.nu/2zd7

Replies (353) Good night (7747) Bad night (48317)
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(407): View more from Florida

my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.

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(407): my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed. http://tfl.nu/xljx

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.

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(202): I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me. http://tfl.nu/uo6c

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(616): View more from Michigan

Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.

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(616): Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up. http://tfl.nu/sgel

Replies (132) Good night (1102) Bad night (29803) Order T-Shirt
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(281): View more from Texas

had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.

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(281): had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag. http://tfl.nu/mbm9

Replies (210) Good night (4712) Bad night (28469) Order T-Shirt
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

and?

(609): View more from New Jersey

RIP clitoris

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(609): I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there... (1-609): and? (609): RIP clitoris http://tfl.nu/1ub6

Replies (595) Good night (4825) Bad night (101290)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

happy early fathers day!!!

(829): View more from Dominican Rep

im not a father

(843): View more from South Carolina

about that...

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(843): happy early fathers day!!! (829): im not a father (843): about that... http://tfl.nu/tk4z

Replies (225) Good night (7510) Bad night (72148)
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(571): View more from Virginia

So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.

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(571): So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder. http://tfl.nu/3ets

Replies (275) Good night (4056) Bad night (68268)
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(863): View more from Florida

I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..

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(863): I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex.. http://tfl.nu/ynb7

Replies (121) Good night (3911) Bad night (62201) Order T-Shirt
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(216): View more from Ohio

Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.

(440): View more from Ohio

Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?

(216): View more from Ohio

Holy shit r u serious? How?

(440): View more from Ohio

Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.

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(216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks. (440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf? (216): Holy shit r u serious? How? (440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you. http://tfl.nu/xwoo

Replies (156) Good night (6802) Bad night (40801)
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(314): View more from Missouri

So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

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(314): So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present. http://tfl.nu/xf6g

Replies (789) Good night (7329) Bad night (109917) Order T-Shirt

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