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Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
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