Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.

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  (313): It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks. http://tfl.nu/13qa
  Replies (14) Good night (1524) Bad night (802)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.

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  (717): Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango (1-717): IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN. http://tfl.nu/b5hl
  Replies (44) Good night (1246) Bad night (4782)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Challenge accepted. See you in hell.

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  (662): Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month. (662): Challenge accepted. See you in hell. http://tfl.nu/tj98
  Replies (27) Good night (6395) Bad night (484)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?

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  (319): Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best? http://tfl.nu/g5yt
  Replies (15) Good night (3129) Bad night (400) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.

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  (319): Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours. http://tfl.nu/m0o9
  Replies (19) Good night (3318) Bad night (462)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.

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  (206): obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol. http://tfl.nu/y9qf
  Replies (6) Good night (2816) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.

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  (630): Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won. http://tfl.nu/w0xy
  Replies (90) Good night (6753) Bad night (1379) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.

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  (563): why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth. http://tfl.nu/0ql9
  Replies (23) Good night (518) Bad night (3636) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.

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  (480): turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way. http://tfl.nu/4k3o
  Replies (30) Good night (4651) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt