Texts From Last Night

brinny516's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Guess what happened to me today at work?

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  I have chlamydia. What happened.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Guess what happened to me today at work? (1-734): I have chlamydia. What happened. (734): Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second. http://tfl.nu/rf53
  Replies (11) Good night (2482) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked. http://tfl.nu/3p22
  Replies (12) Good night (2764) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers. http://tfl.nu/28i2
  Replies (22) Good night (1056) Bad night (1667) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes? http://tfl.nu/jms8
  Replies (48) Good night (768) Bad night (5385)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome. http://tfl.nu/x3tk
  Replies (11) Good night (2463) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early .... http://tfl.nu/6r9w
  Replies (12) Good night (2399) Bad night (732) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas" http://tfl.nu/kk50
  Replies (13) Good night (4007) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers http://tfl.nu/bomc
  Replies (14) Good night (3918) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking. http://tfl.nu/t4jf
  Replies (11) Good night (4781) Bad night (561) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!! (860): I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo http://tfl.nu/vjys
  Replies (13) Good night (8180) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it. http://tfl.nu/3ywv
  Replies (25) Good night (5407) Bad night (1209) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Drunk you is pretty stunner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me" (612): Drunk you is pretty stunner. http://tfl.nu/hyj5
  Replies (9) Good night (4031) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life. http://tfl.nu/qfsl
  Replies (5) Good night (3901) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost. http://tfl.nu/w01g
  Replies (17) Good night (7133) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots. http://tfl.nu/feja
  Replies (4) Good night (2847) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed http://tfl.nu/yyfl
  Replies (4) Good night (696) Bad night (1843) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters http://tfl.nu/lstj
  Replies (4) Good night (2648) Bad night (763) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms. (1-913): So you know, I'm making that my facebook status. http://tfl.nu/4s8l
  Replies (24) Good night (7608) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people. http://tfl.nu/uumz
  Replies (24) Good night (5866) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there. http://tfl.nu/44mo
  Replies (12) Good night (6881) Bad night (889) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout. http://tfl.nu/q2nt
  Replies (42) Good night (9159) Bad night (1181) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can. http://tfl.nu/8tit
  Replies (21) Good night (14409) Bad night (1111) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work. http://tfl.nu/wbkv
  Replies (18) Good night (5689) Bad night (1118) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle. http://tfl.nu/ehxx
  Replies (4) Good night (3398) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  You could give me a blowjob later? :)

  (1-321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I meant do something romantic..

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Blowjob In the moonlight?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): You could give me a blowjob later? :) (1-321): I meant do something romantic.. (321): Blowjob In the moonlight? http://tfl.nu/na1u
  Replies (13) Good night (6056) Bad night (1275)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it. http://tfl.nu/0bv4
  Replies (54) Good night (6865) Bad night (1366) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky. http://tfl.nu/4mz4
  Replies (263) Good night (2480) Bad night (27205) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?" http://tfl.nu/ljzm
  Replies (51) Good night (2012) Bad night (6663) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face. http://tfl.nu/bthr
  Replies (42) Good night (3595) Bad night (8913) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture

  (1-336): View more from North Carolina

  Glad to see your being a lady about this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture (1-336): Glad to see your being a lady about this http://tfl.nu/pcgd
  Replies (49) Good night (9255) Bad night (1084) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was http://tfl.nu/p0yn
  Replies (13) Good night (7103) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron. http://tfl.nu/58sn
  Replies (21) Good night (8864) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  God wants them to get laid too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): Why do fat girls all have such cute faces? (484): God wants them to get laid too. http://tfl.nu/23cz
  Replies (59) Good night (7885) Bad night (1325)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you. http://tfl.nu/04eg
  Replies (25) Good night (7057) Bad night (1263) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date. http://tfl.nu/1wwe
  Replies (51) Good night (7129) Bad night (1549) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser http://tfl.nu/r42a
  Replies (30) Good night (10598) Bad night (1114) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated. http://tfl.nu/xw0x
  Replies (17) Good night (16758) Bad night (966) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms. http://tfl.nu/ibyd
  Replies (13) Good night (5120) Bad night (757) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola. http://tfl.nu/yi5l
  Replies (18) Good night (2220) Bad night (4840) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy. http://tfl.nu/5u2t
  Replies (79) Good night (9384) Bad night (1315) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working. http://tfl.nu/9tde
  Replies (43) Good night (7819) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation". http://tfl.nu/h2mq
  Replies (85) Good night (3270) Bad night (39388) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could. http://tfl.nu/cj4q
  Replies (74) Good night (3761) Bad night (17773) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real http://tfl.nu/fl2e
  Replies (63) Good night (6151) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche. http://tfl.nu/j1u9
  Replies (11) Good night (3708) Bad night (525) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"... http://tfl.nu/0of4
  Replies (113) Good night (5876) Bad night (1211) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap. http://tfl.nu/f3x1
  Replies (59) Good night (698) Bad night (17808) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days http://tfl.nu/g4qr
  Replies (20) Good night (3740) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  doooooooo herrrrrrrrr

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I'm out of practice. be my yoda

  (314): View more from Missouri

  put your penis in her you must.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): doooooooo herrrrrrrrr (504): I'm out of practice. be my yoda (314): put your penis in her you must. http://tfl.nu/ti1e
  Replies (58) Good night (17890) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (276): Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck http://tfl.nu/4gk1
  Replies (72) Good night (4073) Bad night (747) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look. http://tfl.nu/n3uw
  Replies (16) Good night (4791) Bad night (669) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Is licking assholes a new fad or something?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): Is licking assholes a new fad or something? http://tfl.nu/gtcd
  Replies (59) Good night (972) Bad night (3661) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic http://tfl.nu/5xzq
  Replies (37) Good night (4977) Bad night (1357) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking. http://tfl.nu/av4y
  Replies (34) Good night (8760) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena http://tfl.nu/u4d0
  Replies (42) Good night (7364) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I wish they made sweatshirts for legs

  (1-602): View more from Arizona

  you mean pants?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I wish they made sweatshirts for legs (1-602): you mean pants? http://tfl.nu/ceop
  Replies (38) Good night (8485) Bad night (690) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic http://tfl.nu/3cem
  Replies (94) Good night (8669) Bad night (1963)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.

  (1-321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  no his phone, idiot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot. (1-321): he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn. (321): no his phone, idiot. http://tfl.nu/beyf
  Replies (43) Good night (9397) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away. http://tfl.nu/uxou
  Replies (60) Good night (3322) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's? http://tfl.nu/f1lf
  Replies (46) Good night (1196) Bad night (2519) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar. http://tfl.nu/xuyq
  Replies (33) Good night (2678) Bad night (529) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt? (1-603): you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call? http://tfl.nu/6h21
  Replies (13) Good night (927) Bad night (2753) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating http://tfl.nu/olru
  Replies (10) Good night (3562) Bad night (842) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  ...are you coming on to me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me. (601): Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly (901): ...are you coming on to me? http://tfl.nu/90vx
  Replies (12) Good night (3231) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  "Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Haha how much did you smoke

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  4 feet of smokeee!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): "Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another? (609): Haha how much did you smoke (570): 4 feet of smokeee! http://tfl.nu/eyp0
  Replies (20) Good night (3395) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance. http://tfl.nu/qptg
  Replies (11) Good night (3030) Bad night (625) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  i think i'm in class. and blacked out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): i think i'm in class. and blacked out. http://tfl.nu/l2ml
  Replies (5) Good night (2011) Bad night (463) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair http://tfl.nu/hci6
  Replies (9) Good night (1800) Bad night (495) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/gev3
  Replies (508) Good night (86066) Bad night (8375)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Jake died.

  (310): View more from California

  WTF????????? That's how you tell me????

  (818): View more from California

  Oops typo. Jake cried.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Jake died. (310): WTF????????? That's how you tell me???? (818): Oops typo. Jake cried. http://tfl.nu/zib8
  Replies (41) Good night (4733) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you. http://tfl.nu/ohi7
  Replies (39) Good night (673) Bad night (974) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long

  (917): View more from New York City

  Thats what she said

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long (917): Thats what she said http://tfl.nu/ke6j
  Replies (13) Good night (1811) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  dude you need to get laid

  (906): View more from Michigan

  me?

  (616): View more from Michigan

  no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months

  (906): View more from Michigan

  oh I thought you were talkin about me

  (906): View more from Michigan

  wait

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): dude you need to get laid (906): me? (616): no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months (906): oh I thought you were talkin about me (906): wait http://tfl.nu/self
  Replies (10) Good night (1025) Bad night (1835)