Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Follow @tfln