Texts From Last Night

PaytonMoore's Favorites Texts:

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.

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  (847): well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick. http://tfl.nu/owiw
  Replies (5) Good night (1447) Bad night (330)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit

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  (312): Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit http://tfl.nu/kckq
  Replies (3) Good night (1047) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses

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  (802): I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses http://tfl.nu/9pm9
  Replies (4) Good night (421) Bad night (567) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.

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  (816): Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is. http://tfl.nu/ytcu
  Replies (5) Good night (2520) Bad night (277) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.

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  (202): Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship. http://tfl.nu/usel
  Replies (13) Good night (397) Bad night (2151)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

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  (270): I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. http://tfl.nu/gfm7
  Replies (3) Good night (1094) Bad night (311) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado

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  (828): Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado http://tfl.nu/of4e
  Replies (27) Good night (3286) Bad night (532)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.

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  (402): My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself. http://tfl.nu/70br
  Replies (13) Good night (3135) Bad night (556) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape

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  (408): Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape http://tfl.nu/uzlj
  Replies (10) Good night (3878) Bad night (1292) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.

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  (859): the best sex is "duke just lost" sex. http://tfl.nu/zw67
  Replies (33) Good night (6092) Bad night (1307) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger

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  (717): He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger http://tfl.nu/u6xr
  Replies (22) Good night (1292) Bad night (4897)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

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  (407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star... http://tfl.nu/jbo8
  Replies (491) Good night (133310) Bad night (5808)