Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Follow @tfln