Texts From Last Night

natsat's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1628) Good night (168288) Bad night (42166) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro http://tfl.nu/bhdm
  Replies (19) Good night (14854) Bad night (1663) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please? (443): he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag? http://tfl.nu/5o6h
  Replies (134) Good night (12906) Bad night (25548)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport http://tfl.nu/v33c
  Replies (22) Good night (9925) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep. http://tfl.nu/gby7
  Replies (25) Good night (9115) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites http://tfl.nu/fquq
  Replies (21) Good night (8736) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  You got in a fight last night?

  (818): View more from California

  Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.

  (323): View more from California

  Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): You got in a fight last night? (818): Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since. (323): Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you? http://tfl.nu/hf09
  Replies (131) Good night (8268) Bad night (23698)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry. http://tfl.nu/gi6e
  Replies (26) Good night (8008) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?

  (1-949): View more from California

  are you seriously doing this over text message

  (949): View more from California

  hahaha no, but i am dumping you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me? (1-949): are you seriously doing this over text message (949): hahaha no, but i am dumping you. http://tfl.nu/2zd7
  Replies (353) Good night (7747) Bad night (48316)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I don`t remember Saturday, actually

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  Its ok, i dont remember 2007

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): I don`t remember Saturday, actually (1-604): Its ok, i dont remember 2007 http://tfl.nu/egxh
  Replies (16) Good night (7581) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit. http://tfl.nu/aa9j
  Replies (20) Good night (7127) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle

  (648): View more from

  Since when is drunk an angle?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle (648): Since when is drunk an angle? http://tfl.nu/dhcr
  Replies (12) Good night (7061) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Holy shit r u serious? How?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks. (440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf? (216): Holy shit r u serious? How? (440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you. http://tfl.nu/xwoo
  Replies (156) Good night (6801) Bad night (40800)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him. http://tfl.nu/wgyi
  Replies (25) Good night (6619) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight. http://tfl.nu/4o55
  Replies (16) Good night (6519) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses. http://tfl.nu/pr98
  Replies (11) Good night (6482) Bad night (983) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...

  (623): View more from Arizona

  What did she do!?

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I didn't tell her...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her... (623): What did she do!? (602): I didn't tell her... http://tfl.nu/i351
  Replies (218) Good night (5115) Bad night (24280)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong? http://tfl.nu/9q3v
  Replies (171) Good night (4918) Bad night (16910) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN http://tfl.nu/7vj7
  Replies (185) Good night (4223) Bad night (18752) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed. http://tfl.nu/xljx
  Replies (87) Good night (3380) Bad night (31163) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.

  (917): View more from New York City

  I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God. (917): I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice. http://tfl.nu/jdh1
  Replies (122) Good night (3066) Bad night (15118)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft. http://tfl.nu/x178
  Replies (345) Good night (2883) Bad night (17278) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser. http://tfl.nu/fqkl
  Replies (116) Good night (2786) Bad night (20223) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her. http://tfl.nu/icjy
  Replies (54) Good night (2478) Bad night (14817) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her http://tfl.nu/t8zc
  Replies (90) Good night (2381) Bad night (22893) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way http://tfl.nu/rl6u
  Replies (221) Good night (2332) Bad night (28065)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole

  (425): View more from Washington

  There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole (425): There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian http://tfl.nu/pttl
  Replies (98) Good night (2322) Bad night (23671)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob http://tfl.nu/1gjp
  Replies (193) Good night (2264) Bad night (15794) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend? http://tfl.nu/ma89
  Replies (80) Good night (2239) Bad night (15202) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME??? http://tfl.nu/x0d6
  Replies (46) Good night (2170) Bad night (17697)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast. http://tfl.nu/qvgk
  Replies (142) Good night (2105) Bad night (49766) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat? http://tfl.nu/b9c7
  Replies (159) Good night (2096) Bad night (35713) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself. http://tfl.nu/8ts9
  Replies (72) Good night (2091) Bad night (14230) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex http://tfl.nu/lecw
  Replies (62) Good night (2031) Bad night (13170) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her... http://tfl.nu/xju0
  Replies (79) Good night (2031) Bad night (28256) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  got weed?

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.

  (206): View more from Washington

  sorry mom...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): got weed? (425): I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone. (206): sorry mom... http://tfl.nu/04mv
  Replies (157) Good night (2023) Bad night (17663)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  What?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I have a yeast infection.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I'm bakin' bread in my pussy! (1-314): What? (314): I have a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/o2ns
  Replies (180) Good night (1956) Bad night (28238)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that. (717): I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother... http://tfl.nu/ehm3
  Replies (153) Good night (1891) Bad night (25537)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed http://tfl.nu/xgm0
  Replies (43) Good night (1881) Bad night (13878) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life. http://tfl.nu/o34i
  Replies (39) Good night (1778) Bad night (12372) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..

  (703): View more from Virginia

  this can't be going anywhere good

  (571): View more from Virginia

  nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah.. (703): this can't be going anywhere good (571): nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\ http://tfl.nu/4i13
  Replies (196) Good night (1776) Bad night (26511)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm on my period, period, period

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex (703): I'm on my period, period, period http://tfl.nu/vsrk
  Replies (72) Good night (1761) Bad night (15561)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  She saved the condom from the first time we did it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): She saved the condom from the first time we did it. http://tfl.nu/b22a
  Replies (89) Good night (1704) Bad night (25931) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom. http://tfl.nu/yf2o
  Replies (99) Good night (1682) Bad night (18527) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too. http://tfl.nu/2www
  Replies (42) Good night (1623) Bad night (14111) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages." http://tfl.nu/1o45
  Replies (24) Good night (1551) Bad night (14203) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst? http://tfl.nu/5xe1
  Replies (67) Good night (1526) Bad night (25594) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly. http://tfl.nu/dwqa
  Replies (58) Good night (1484) Bad night (14349) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse. http://tfl.nu/qk0b
  Replies (32) Good night (1465) Bad night (15722) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud http://tfl.nu/p0vi
  Replies (44) Good night (1438) Bad night (18553) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list http://tfl.nu/ucvs
  Replies (40) Good night (1416) Bad night (13774) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name. http://tfl.nu/axbm
  Replies (33) Good night (1405) Bad night (13500) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes. (1-434): Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/t985
  Replies (54) Good night (1365) Bad night (13432)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower. http://tfl.nu/cq6t
  Replies (41) Good night (1346) Bad night (13181) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He told me they were just razor bumps!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): He told me they were just razor bumps! http://tfl.nu/2b3s
  Replies (48) Good night (1322) Bad night (24177) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality http://tfl.nu/g1bs
  Replies (73) Good night (1306) Bad night (12668) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad. http://tfl.nu/fiwi
  Replies (43) Good night (1292) Bad night (14177) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger. http://tfl.nu/1s95
  Replies (46) Good night (1287) Bad night (15185) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex" http://tfl.nu/sy7y
  Replies (42) Good night (1268) Bad night (14323) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here. http://tfl.nu/6w86
  Replies (30) Good night (1259) Bad night (12773) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag. http://tfl.nu/yqo6
  Replies (72) Good night (1243) Bad night (16105) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up. http://tfl.nu/iaie
  Replies (44) Good night (1238) Bad night (13078) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant http://tfl.nu/01g1
  Replies (54) Good night (1230) Bad night (15572) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went? http://tfl.nu/jir7
  Replies (73) Good night (1214) Bad night (14377) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right? http://tfl.nu/0mj4
  Replies (56) Good night (1201) Bad night (13439) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I just woke up to me licking the dognuts

  (623): View more from Arizona

  You mean Doughnuts?

  (602): View more from Arizona

  ......No :(

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I just woke up to me licking the dognuts (623): You mean Doughnuts? (602): ......No :( http://tfl.nu/8azm
  Replies (50) Good night (1177) Bad night (17175)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair" http://tfl.nu/zzcb
  Replies (209) Good night (1167) Bad night (17982) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties? http://tfl.nu/8a9h
  Replies (283) Good night (1157) Bad night (13329) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): her vagina looked like a handful of raisins. http://tfl.nu/5whx
  Replies (91) Good night (1147) Bad night (24039) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY. http://tfl.nu/v8u7
  Replies (85) Good night (1135) Bad night (12467) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe http://tfl.nu/ye00
  Replies (35) Good night (1132) Bad night (13745)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??" http://tfl.nu/y012
  Replies (125) Good night (1110) Bad night (22266) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever. http://tfl.nu/lqf2
  Replies (73) Good night (1095) Bad night (15533) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose? http://tfl.nu/qulw
  Replies (112) Good night (1076) Bad night (15931) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  this is your brother

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;) (1-978): this is your brother http://tfl.nu/l4xz
  Replies (63) Good night (1074) Bad night (14121) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Did we use protection last night?

  (1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Um, no...keep in touch, okay?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Did we use protection last night? (1-780): Um, no...keep in touch, okay? http://tfl.nu/2myc
  Replies (46) Good night (1066) Bad night (14642) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going? http://tfl.nu/4uq9
  Replies (49) Good night (1059) Bad night (20530) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name. http://tfl.nu/1ows
  Replies (57) Good night (1012) Bad night (14985) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom? http://tfl.nu/19xa
  Replies (55) Good night (971) Bad night (16971) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him? http://tfl.nu/9nhp
  Replies (139) Good night (957) Bad night (12503) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made? http://tfl.nu/goen
  Replies (46) Good night (947) Bad night (16046) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  so today I found out that she used to be a he....

  (1-931): View more from Tennessee

  are you gonna get a divorce?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): so today I found out that she used to be a he.... (1-931): are you gonna get a divorce? http://tfl.nu/5e03
  Replies (86) Good night (887) Bad night (16886) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom? http://tfl.nu/6goc
  Replies (35) Good night (880) Bad night (14924) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  just found the deal breaker

  (1-251): View more from Alabama

  hairy back?

  (251): View more from Alabama

  he can't live within 1000 ft of a school

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): just found the deal breaker (1-251): hairy back? (251): he can't live within 1000 ft of a school http://tfl.nu/kwkd
  Replies (73) Good night (868) Bad night (14111)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner. http://tfl.nu/5d6x
  Replies (42) Good night (827) Bad night (14648)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich http://tfl.nu/gjvv
  Replies (107) Good night (813) Bad night (14682) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on

  (1-915): View more from Texas

  who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on (1-915): who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me http://tfl.nu/h8za
  Replies (49) Good night (781) Bad night (14849)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww! http://tfl.nu/rzts
  Replies (89) Good night (776) Bad night (13677) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone? http://tfl.nu/oqh6
  Replies (33) Good night (774) Bad night (13018) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf http://tfl.nu/03ls
  Replies (24) Good night (765) Bad night (13537) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it. http://tfl.nu/q5jx
  Replies (38) Good night (750) Bad night (13661) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class. http://tfl.nu/nig5
  Replies (73) Good night (707) Bad night (12957)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor.. http://tfl.nu/qi2l
  Replies (30) Good night (657) Bad night (12554)