Texts From Last Night

mikescott's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/73qd
  Replies (444) Good night (112228) Bad night (9731) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/gev3
  Replies (508) Good night (86085) Bad night (8380)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  hows the party?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ists fjcssing insceredle

  (913): View more from Kansas

  be there in 10

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): hows the party? (816): ists fjcssing insceredle (913): be there in 10 http://tfl.nu/innz
  Replies (61) Good night (26592) Bad night (1203)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ. http://tfl.nu/qy75
  Replies (37) Good night (25083) Bad night (818) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her. http://tfl.nu/6ypm
  Replies (49) Good night (17467) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?

  (1-559): View more from California

  That depends on who this is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true? (1-559): That depends on who this is. http://tfl.nu/a6jm
  Replies (42) Good night (14367) Bad night (1864) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home. http://tfl.nu/c9s9
  Replies (45) Good night (11809) Bad night (1080) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms. http://tfl.nu/59ye
  Replies (35) Good night (8280) Bad night (1059) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does. http://tfl.nu/f5ii
  Replies (48) Good night (7732) Bad night (1812)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Dude you has no fucking this poptart

  (719): View more from Colorado

  What?

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I dont know to explain this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): Dude you has no fucking this poptart (719): What? (843): I dont know to explain this. http://tfl.nu/kk1s
  Replies (35) Good night (6506) Bad night (1250)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot. http://tfl.nu/r2lr
  Replies (17) Good night (6223) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high. http://tfl.nu/emp7
  Replies (8) Good night (5917) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies. http://tfl.nu/khmt
  Replies (9) Good night (5719) Bad night (940) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass. http://tfl.nu/jig4
  Replies (18) Good night (5285) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win. http://tfl.nu/2dfk
  Replies (8) Good night (4675) Bad night (747) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't. http://tfl.nu/9mwz
  Replies (12) Good night (4461) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him. http://tfl.nu/b1lr
  Replies (8) Good night (3766) Bad night (1449)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you http://tfl.nu/0wg6
  Replies (12) Good night (3617) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on! http://tfl.nu/2bv6
  Replies (10) Good night (3449) Bad night (872) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet" http://tfl.nu/f79o
  Replies (16) Good night (3356) Bad night (971) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more. http://tfl.nu/p4p6
  Replies (5) Good night (3290) Bad night (925) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep http://tfl.nu/y2u2
  Replies (19) Good night (3189) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  super hot butfun

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): super hot butfun (832): Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make. http://tfl.nu/zsez
  Replies (11) Good night (2935) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition" http://tfl.nu/pg7b
  Replies (8) Good night (2931) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry. http://tfl.nu/kkr1
  Replies (7) Good night (2929) Bad night (1185) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling http://tfl.nu/kv01
  Replies (6) Good night (2470) Bad night (772) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads http://tfl.nu/11ei
  Replies (4) Good night (2303) Bad night (817) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events. http://tfl.nu/5em3
  Replies (16) Good night (2003) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there. http://tfl.nu/latd
  Replies (4) Good night (1751) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Someone shattered a urinal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Someone shattered a urinal. http://tfl.nu/a493
  Replies (8) Good night (1594) Bad night (793) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again. http://tfl.nu/sd6x
  Replies (11) Good night (1410) Bad night (3437) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b http://tfl.nu/qxl5
  Replies (9) Good night (1285) Bad night (4295) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo. http://tfl.nu/dtd1
  Replies (22) Good night (1163) Bad night (5280)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown

  (281): View more from Texas

  Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown (281): Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps http://tfl.nu/xa4c
  Replies (22) Good night (804) Bad night (1664)