Texts From Last Night

kingman's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"... http://tfl.nu/2wkl
  Replies (485) Good night (173028) Bad night (6898) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1628) Good night (168253) Bad night (42158) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (833) Good night (142145) Bad night (9312) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star... http://tfl.nu/jbo8
  Replies (491) Good night (133078) Bad night (5768)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4. http://tfl.nu/sr4z
  Replies (383) Good night (128382) Bad night (4043) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed http://tfl.nu/sznd
  Replies (127) Good night (127076) Bad night (2829) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more http://tfl.nu/zuqw
  Replies (203) Good night (116784) Bad night (3274) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/73qd
  Replies (444) Good night (112209) Bad night (9725) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true http://tfl.nu/y8hf
  Replies (409) Good night (103637) Bad night (9399) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  he said he didn't have a condom.

  (415): View more from California

  and you said?

  (510): View more from California

  that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): he said he didn't have a condom. (415): and you said? (510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that. http://tfl.nu/4u76
  Replies (301) Good night (100312) Bad night (5711)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would do horrible things to your vagina.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Prove it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I would do horrible things to your vagina. (978): Prove it. http://tfl.nu/qld3
  Replies (182) Good night (93464) Bad night (4595)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him http://tfl.nu/axwb
  Replies (165) Good night (90220) Bad night (3870) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  How was it?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Fantastic, but that's not the point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me. (1-847): How was it? (847): Fantastic, but that's not the point. http://tfl.nu/muuk
  Replies (204) Good night (86447) Bad night (7099)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever. http://tfl.nu/p67s
  Replies (179) Good night (85888) Bad night (3074) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests http://tfl.nu/dcsh
  Replies (200) Good night (80183) Bad night (4305) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (297) Good night (73374) Bad night (2464) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  I told you I was good to drive

  (1-915): View more from Texas

  dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): I told you I was good to drive (1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate http://tfl.nu/7qaj
  Replies (53) Good night (72044) Bad night (2123) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (248) Good night (66709) Bad night (2996) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am? http://tfl.nu/ppdn
  Replies (116) Good night (65447) Bad night (3902) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm fucking your sister right now.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  You motherfucker

  (813): View more from Florida

  She's next.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I'm fucking your sister right now. (1-813): You motherfucker (813): She's next. http://tfl.nu/gaup
  Replies (152) Good night (65380) Bad night (3435)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow http://tfl.nu/ea94
  Replies (235) Good night (64835) Bad night (2521)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter. http://tfl.nu/8kyg
  Replies (289) Good night (62252) Bad night (4267)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them http://tfl.nu/zf3d
  Replies (209) Good night (61972) Bad night (2274) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love http://tfl.nu/v9ss
  Replies (131) Good night (60842) Bad night (1889) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward http://tfl.nu/dpap
  Replies (358) Good night (59116) Bad night (7121) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend. (508): i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me. http://tfl.nu/ho6s
  Replies (188) Good night (56838) Bad night (4687)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole http://tfl.nu/otvq
  Replies (434) Good night (54918) Bad night (6419) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven. http://tfl.nu/hg3t
  Replies (280) Good night (54025) Bad night (4401) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test http://tfl.nu/0qhc
  Replies (77) Good night (51898) Bad night (2022) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down http://tfl.nu/yeuq
  Replies (206) Good night (51688) Bad night (2730) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart http://tfl.nu/al7w
  Replies (182) Good night (51516) Bad night (1868)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration". http://tfl.nu/m5rh
  Replies (87) Good night (51277) Bad night (3140) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable. http://tfl.nu/zho9
  Replies (214) Good night (51232) Bad night (2585) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands http://tfl.nu/c6ww
  Replies (83) Good night (49040) Bad night (2041) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  what happened last night?

  (917): View more from New York City

  u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style

  (718): View more from New York

  that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): what happened last night? (917): u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style (718): that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left http://tfl.nu/i3a9
  Replies (39) Good night (13968) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk. (610): I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect. http://tfl.nu/dim5
  Replies (43) Good night (13943) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever. http://tfl.nu/md7w
  Replies (30) Good night (11885) Bad night (1027) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  He's the fucking cop whisperer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him... (1-317): He's the fucking cop whisperer. http://tfl.nu/3vvt
  Replies (25) Good night (10950) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final http://tfl.nu/7b8j
  Replies (18) Good night (9842) Bad night (736) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet. http://tfl.nu/swmp
  Replies (18) Good night (9826) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter http://tfl.nu/rgti
  Replies (31) Good night (9133) Bad night (1009) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?

  (917): View more from New York City

  what kind of party is this?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  the best kind ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home? (917): what kind of party is this? (610): the best kind ever http://tfl.nu/ib1r
  Replies (22) Good night (7834) Bad night (972)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list. http://tfl.nu/ifsp
  Replies (20) Good night (7819) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes' http://tfl.nu/oxkp
  Replies (9) Good night (7592) Bad night (879) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events... http://tfl.nu/y2xk
  Replies (26) Good night (7463) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode http://tfl.nu/uv7a
  Replies (29) Good night (7014) Bad night (761) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there." http://tfl.nu/12yv
  Replies (28) Good night (6820) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (289): The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight. http://tfl.nu/z22w
  Replies (5) Good night (6798) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical. http://tfl.nu/0rx8
  Replies (16) Good night (6575) Bad night (646) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab. http://tfl.nu/orgb
  Replies (51) Good night (6443) Bad night (1004) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job http://tfl.nu/40rf
  Replies (62) Good night (6417) Bad night (1830) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later http://tfl.nu/x9e9
  Replies (9) Good night (6215) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing." http://tfl.nu/cqut
  Replies (16) Good night (6033) Bad night (756) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER. (610): When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!" http://tfl.nu/bnpd
  Replies (40) Good night (6023) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark. http://tfl.nu/ophf
  Replies (9) Good night (5871) Bad night (952) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/pkl3
  Replies (20) Good night (5793) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral. http://tfl.nu/xbiu
  Replies (14) Good night (5728) Bad night (987) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me. http://tfl.nu/ey2n
  Replies (16) Good night (5695) Bad night (1712)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden http://tfl.nu/xsqd
  Replies (14) Good night (5643) Bad night (986) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete. http://tfl.nu/p0ju
  Replies (15) Good night (5624) Bad night (653) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted http://tfl.nu/q55a
  Replies (11) Good night (5394) Bad night (2073) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick... http://tfl.nu/36kw
  Replies (67) Good night (5366) Bad night (774) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever. http://tfl.nu/mubr
  Replies (10) Good night (5302) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter http://tfl.nu/a4jz
  Replies (30) Good night (5215) Bad night (1275) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex. http://tfl.nu/84ml
  Replies (34) Good night (5195) Bad night (901) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he should get drunk with us

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant (1-610): he should get drunk with us http://tfl.nu/datt
  Replies (20) Good night (5114) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity. http://tfl.nu/4je5
  Replies (9) Good night (4951) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window. http://tfl.nu/q9w7
  Replies (24) Good night (4913) Bad night (1159) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors http://tfl.nu/o36o
  Replies (15) Good night (4867) Bad night (1450) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am http://tfl.nu/0mrv
  Replies (6) Good night (4773) Bad night (739) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name http://tfl.nu/7lfm
  Replies (13) Good night (4665) Bad night (952) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss. http://tfl.nu/sd0l
  Replies (11) Good night (4642) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me! http://tfl.nu/2u3z
  Replies (15) Good night (4639) Bad night (865) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex http://tfl.nu/zw16
  Replies (7) Good night (4570) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom. (484): I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you. http://tfl.nu/hypz
  Replies (7) Good night (4442) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot. http://tfl.nu/czov
  Replies (19) Good night (4416) Bad night (910) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand. http://tfl.nu/ms96
  Replies (10) Good night (4335) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  she fell through a window trying to flash someone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): she fell through a window trying to flash someone http://tfl.nu/c9dp
  Replies (12) Good night (4315) Bad night (1464) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him. http://tfl.nu/cio0
  Replies (28) Good night (4292) Bad night (1026) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating http://tfl.nu/p848
  Replies (19) Good night (4203) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality. http://tfl.nu/vr2w
  Replies (13) Good night (4161) Bad night (1092) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing. http://tfl.nu/hr4b
  Replies (17) Good night (4158) Bad night (1863)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings. http://tfl.nu/8q1l
  Replies (9) Good night (4148) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  what if every blade of grass was a penis?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): what if every blade of grass was a penis? http://tfl.nu/ka1d
  Replies (34) Good night (4126) Bad night (1008) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope my margaritas pass through security.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I hope my margaritas pass through security. http://tfl.nu/1pwp
  Replies (7) Good night (4082) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue http://tfl.nu/ia6b
  Replies (18) Good night (4080) Bad night (1875) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP. http://tfl.nu/xvnv
  Replies (4) Good night (4075) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight". http://tfl.nu/suji
  Replies (5) Good night (4032) Bad night (1132) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage. http://tfl.nu/kkp1
  Replies (9) Good night (3994) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us? http://tfl.nu/gp4k
  Replies (5) Good night (3980) Bad night (957) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  First date: that requires underwear, huh?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): First date: that requires underwear, huh? http://tfl.nu/ogif
  Replies (17) Good night (3967) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star. http://tfl.nu/5mxp
  Replies (67) Good night (3830) Bad night (2154) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge http://tfl.nu/8cfm
  Replies (15) Good night (3780) Bad night (1288) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My vibrator challenges you to a duel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): My vibrator challenges you to a duel. http://tfl.nu/fz14
  Replies (18) Good night (3774) Bad night (933) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg. http://tfl.nu/8u14
  Replies (10) Good night (3751) Bad night (806) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it? http://tfl.nu/4plu
  Replies (14) Good night (3631) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again. http://tfl.nu/9aen
  Replies (10) Good night (3522) Bad night (1191) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out. http://tfl.nu/jm8j
  Replies (12) Good night (3512) Bad night (995) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today. http://tfl.nu/1con
  Replies (13) Good night (3481) Bad night (1027)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom... http://tfl.nu/nw55
  Replies (9) Good night (3465) Bad night (1100) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo. http://tfl.nu/5daz
  Replies (6) Good night (3456) Bad night (817) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  A Penis?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me. (1-610): A Penis? http://tfl.nu/aerv
  Replies (50) Good night (3446) Bad night (491) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had. http://tfl.nu/a3aj
  Replies (13) Good night (3444) Bad night (1533) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits. http://tfl.nu/wm8o
  Replies (15) Good night (3404) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun. http://tfl.nu/edf8
  Replies (30) Good night (3401) Bad night (1453) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise. http://tfl.nu/o3um
  Replies (12) Good night (3362) Bad night (825) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  i think that dennys waitress has my boxers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): i think that dennys waitress has my boxers http://tfl.nu/oyrc
  Replies (15) Good night (3335) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate. http://tfl.nu/9f37
  Replies (6) Good night (3334) Bad night (1196) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated. http://tfl.nu/ymio
  Replies (8) Good night (3319) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  you want your laptop back?

  (1-916): View more from California

  are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?

  (916): View more from California

  both.

  (1-916): View more from California

  come over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): you want your laptop back? (1-916): are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex? (916): both. (1-916): come over. http://tfl.nu/ikpf
  Replies (6) Good night (3236) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I. http://tfl.nu/bxpy
  Replies (5) Good night (3153) Bad night (841) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little" http://tfl.nu/17w7
  Replies (6) Good night (3146) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign. http://tfl.nu/j53c
  Replies (7) Good night (3079) Bad night (603) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with. http://tfl.nu/33qn
  Replies (8) Good night (3009) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in. http://tfl.nu/i926
  Replies (16) Good night (3002) Bad night (864) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly http://tfl.nu/pft1
  Replies (9) Good night (2967) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  We had to coat check the pizza.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): We had to coat check the pizza. http://tfl.nu/aa4o
  Replies (3) Good night (2944) Bad night (932) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh http://tfl.nu/jb8q
  Replies (19) Good night (2938) Bad night (1304)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time.... http://tfl.nu/4vkt
  Replies (7) Good night (2869) Bad night (1105) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday http://tfl.nu/7nrp
  Replies (4) Good night (2868) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal. http://tfl.nu/7xt6
  Replies (9) Good night (2845) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club? http://tfl.nu/mens
  Replies (13) Good night (2800) Bad night (812) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony. http://tfl.nu/6cs5
  Replies (8) Good night (2764) Bad night (912) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked. http://tfl.nu/3p22
  Replies (12) Good night (2764) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles. http://tfl.nu/wlbn
  Replies (14) Good night (2640) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that. http://tfl.nu/tpz4
  Replies (21) Good night (2620) Bad night (3372) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job? http://tfl.nu/emh8
  Replies (10) Good night (2609) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you? http://tfl.nu/8g3a
  Replies (9) Good night (2606) Bad night (986) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley. http://tfl.nu/h7e5
  Replies (15) Good night (2535) Bad night (1392) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar http://tfl.nu/rbaw
  Replies (9) Good night (2530) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN. http://tfl.nu/5n63
  Replies (12) Good night (2479) Bad night (1019) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Who is this?

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Who is this? (1-603): You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo (603): Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this? http://tfl.nu/iabt
  Replies (5) Good night (2470) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice http://tfl.nu/qhk7
  Replies (3) Good night (2446) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes http://tfl.nu/e457
  Replies (8) Good night (2431) Bad night (1087) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at http://tfl.nu/66cb
  Replies (5) Good night (2416) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash? http://tfl.nu/uuv0
  Replies (8) Good night (2352) Bad night (621) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions http://tfl.nu/59zh
  Replies (11) Good night (2220) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top. http://tfl.nu/djvr
  Replies (3) Good night (2214) Bad night (402) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation. http://tfl.nu/qmhd
  Replies (10) Good night (2202) Bad night (810) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours. http://tfl.nu/4ug0
  Replies (1) Good night (2194) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem... http://tfl.nu/rc3g
  Replies (12) Good night (2147) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.

  (585): View more from New York

  Find him and marry him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night. (585): Find him and marry him. http://tfl.nu/d6kn
  Replies (5) Good night (2144) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me. http://tfl.nu/rba0
  Replies (3) Good night (2102) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself. http://tfl.nu/m9u0
  Replies (6) Good night (2094) Bad night (865) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine http://tfl.nu/bvyx
  Replies (12) Good night (2083) Bad night (641) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet http://tfl.nu/si54
  Replies (6) Good night (2062) Bad night (1219) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture. http://tfl.nu/ky0p
  Replies (4) Good night (2056) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share. http://tfl.nu/463q
  Replies (2) Good night (2055) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.

  (1-914): View more from New York

  You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county. (1-914): You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud. http://tfl.nu/15gl
  Replies (3) Good night (1956) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship

  (817): View more from Texas

  Last one there wins

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship (817): Last one there wins http://tfl.nu/wuri
  Replies (3) Good night (1854) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything. http://tfl.nu/e1ys
  Replies (84) Good night (1830) Bad night (6659) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference? http://tfl.nu/d4sd
  Replies (7) Good night (1793) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at http://tfl.nu/k9hn
  Replies (5) Good night (1741) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably. http://tfl.nu/c0bc
  Replies (3) Good night (1736) Bad night (356) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life. http://tfl.nu/z2vn
  Replies (6) Good night (1729) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland. http://tfl.nu/1rj2
  Replies (3) Good night (1728) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Congratulations on your lack of fetus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Congratulations on your lack of fetus. http://tfl.nu/ujd7
  Replies (4) Good night (1683) Bad night (706) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won http://tfl.nu/hlfr
  Replies (2) Good night (1679) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY. http://tfl.nu/nqby
  Replies (32) Good night (1654) Bad night (7371) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple http://tfl.nu/806d
  Replies (4) Good night (1629) Bad night (739) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. http://tfl.nu/kla9
  Replies (3) Good night (1605) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park. http://tfl.nu/g3vi
  Replies (11) Good night (1553) Bad night (1246) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS! http://tfl.nu/eric
  Replies (4) Good night (1529) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it. http://tfl.nu/rgwr
  Replies (5) Good night (1521) Bad night (648) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent. http://tfl.nu/ihl8
  Replies (3) Good night (1504) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month. http://tfl.nu/ayye
  Replies (19) Good night (1485) Bad night (1069) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police. http://tfl.nu/zopt
  Replies (9) Good night (1466) Bad night (4327) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics. http://tfl.nu/etl3
  Replies (8) Good night (1388) Bad night (404) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it. http://tfl.nu/6v2i
  Replies (13) Good night (1367) Bad night (2211) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose. http://tfl.nu/5ocp
  Replies (2) Good night (1349) Bad night (2222) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat" (763): and this is why you're my favorite gay friend. http://tfl.nu/djrx
  Replies (6) Good night (1332) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive http://tfl.nu/jyc3
  Replies (3) Good night (1331) Bad night (328) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition. http://tfl.nu/x5ll
  Replies (4) Good night (1320) Bad night (375) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (227): View more from Maryland

  I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (227): I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are. http://tfl.nu/7vs1
  Replies (4) Good night (1309) Bad night (301) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat" http://tfl.nu/few2
  Replies (7) Good night (1300) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science. http://tfl.nu/0s8c
  Replies (6) Good night (1281) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay http://tfl.nu/sayw
  Replies (10) Good night (1277) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not. http://tfl.nu/i6ea
  Replies (96) Good night (1260) Bad night (4447)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass. http://tfl.nu/m2gp
  Replies (6) Good night (1240) Bad night (426) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors. http://tfl.nu/wmwt
  Replies (34) Good night (1237) Bad night (504) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/bfx0
  Replies (23) Good night (1226) Bad night (3612) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA http://tfl.nu/kl6y
  Replies (6) Good night (1186) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight http://tfl.nu/2xsm
  Replies (6) Good night (1175) Bad night (597) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  It's a journey

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  And the destination is his penis?

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Precisely.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): It's a journey (1-907): And the destination is his penis? (907): Precisely. http://tfl.nu/ln5a
  Replies (2) Good night (1175) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch... http://tfl.nu/5oqr
  Replies (5) Good night (1169) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons http://tfl.nu/vc4y
  Replies (10) Good night (1160) Bad night (2104) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad. http://tfl.nu/5dfv
  Replies (12) Good night (1143) Bad night (3833) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air. http://tfl.nu/rzj6
  Replies (3) Good night (1114) Bad night (697) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/q9i5
  Replies (8) Good night (1108) Bad night (2793) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise. http://tfl.nu/h521
  Replies (8) Good night (1087) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex. http://tfl.nu/pe6j
  Replies (6) Good night (1087) Bad night (395) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress. http://tfl.nu/wf9p
  Replies (20) Good night (1073) Bad night (6648) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn. http://tfl.nu/sfhl
  Replies (14) Good night (1031) Bad night (2427) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS. http://tfl.nu/qjb8
  Replies (3) Good night (991) Bad night (392) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward. http://tfl.nu/uvqx
  Replies (6) Good night (966) Bad night (359) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse... http://tfl.nu/ttob
  Replies (8) Good night (953) Bad night (3102) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free. http://tfl.nu/oqtb
  Replies (3) Good night (947) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius http://tfl.nu/488p
  Replies (5) Good night (946) Bad night (307) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together. http://tfl.nu/6uns
  Replies (3) Good night (940) Bad night (778) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet http://tfl.nu/2t6q
  Replies (4) Good night (940) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him. http://tfl.nu/i4cz
  Replies (5) Good night (904) Bad night (502) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent. http://tfl.nu/patp
  Replies (2) Good night (890) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Not half as good looking as paul

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul (313): Not half as good looking as paul (248): I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge http://tfl.nu/0tcw
  Replies (5) Good night (869) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday. http://tfl.nu/vfie
  Replies (2) Good night (858) Bad night (377) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he said i ruined lesbian porn for him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): he said i ruined lesbian porn for him http://tfl.nu/xboc
  Replies (12) Good night (857) Bad night (3759) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk. http://tfl.nu/thay
  Replies (2) Good night (853) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. http://tfl.nu/hxik
  Replies (10) Good night (847) Bad night (1543) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job. http://tfl.nu/xaqo
  Replies (13) Good night (846) Bad night (2776) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request. http://tfl.nu/qxm8
  Replies (5) Good night (837) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded. http://tfl.nu/x9oy
  Replies (2) Good night (794) Bad night (350) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball http://tfl.nu/n4gl
  Replies (5) Good night (781) Bad night (504) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say. http://tfl.nu/5ny3
  Replies (10) Good night (758) Bad night (457) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers http://tfl.nu/m8b0
  Replies (9) Good night (742) Bad night (1767) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face. http://tfl.nu/ob45
  Replies (6) Good night (739) Bad night (292) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress. http://tfl.nu/jhgc
  Replies (3) Good night (725) Bad night (311) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This. http://tfl.nu/r466
  Replies (8) Good night (707) Bad night (958) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster http://tfl.nu/c1fy
  Replies (3) Good night (696) Bad night (1646) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid http://tfl.nu/59ax
  Replies (8) Good night (673) Bad night (1900)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am http://tfl.nu/1emj
  Replies (7) Good night (661) Bad night (1341) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life. http://tfl.nu/8k8d
  Replies (7) Good night (659) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part. http://tfl.nu/8mau
  Replies (7) Good night (650) Bad night (1294) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty http://tfl.nu/bhaz
  Replies (3) Good night (648) Bad night (2684) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks. http://tfl.nu/z0r2
  Replies (22) Good night (619) Bad night (3093) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions. http://tfl.nu/tje6
  Replies (4) Good night (608) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married. http://tfl.nu/rsec
  Replies (7) Good night (599) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man. http://tfl.nu/q2i0
  Replies (6) Good night (579) Bad night (1199) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand?? http://tfl.nu/viz5
  Replies (24) Good night (558) Bad night (1331) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow http://tfl.nu/7yz5
  Replies (7) Good night (520) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type http://tfl.nu/pqp7
  Replies (6) Good night (491) Bad night (430) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED http://tfl.nu/xpsw
  Replies (10) Good night (487) Bad night (1218) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  He should be castrated

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): He should be castrated (604): Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons http://tfl.nu/5v9r
  Replies (6) Good night (437) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding. http://tfl.nu/j7eu
  Replies (1) Good night (433) Bad night (948) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin. http://tfl.nu/b3st
  Replies (4) Good night (408) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt