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so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
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