Texts From Last Night

heykaren's Favorites Texts:

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.

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  (617): I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again. http://tfl.nu/qw6q
  Replies (50) Good night (19648) Bad night (1993) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.

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  (904): Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is. http://tfl.nu/v4zj
  Replies (49) Good night (9108) Bad night (1234) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.

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  (832): He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point. http://tfl.nu/zypj
  Replies (21) Good night (8332) Bad night (938) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  go home

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  (347): we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy (203): go home http://tfl.nu/91uo
  Replies (28) Good night (6837) Bad night (866)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.

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  (+61): Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other. http://tfl.nu/nigv
  Replies (29) Good night (6711) Bad night (1369) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Are you high?

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  (630): Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"? (1-630): Are you high? http://tfl.nu/3xxd
  Replies (21) Good night (6443) Bad night (979) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five

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  (804): I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five http://tfl.nu/co5b
  Replies (11) Good night (6382) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I don't know where I am but there are firefighters

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  (269): I don't know where I am but there are firefighters http://tfl.nu/dbyd
  Replies (18) Good night (6243) Bad night (933) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"

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  (970): ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and" http://tfl.nu/hqw1
  Replies (20) Good night (6241) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life

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  (901): i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life http://tfl.nu/drtj
  Replies (6) Good night (6128) Bad night (676) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...

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  (806): A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal" (501): Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him... http://tfl.nu/wsps
  Replies (15) Good night (5972) Bad night (771)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.

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  (773): Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up. http://tfl.nu/ll85
  Replies (7) Good night (5861) Bad night (1074) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  you don't.

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  (717): how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way (1-717): you don't. http://tfl.nu/p0es
  Replies (15) Good night (5756) Bad night (1294) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.

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  (757): We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on. http://tfl.nu/8n2e
  Replies (15) Good night (5542) Bad night (920)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.

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  (973): A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ. http://tfl.nu/a72f
  Replies (6) Good night (5467) Bad night (886) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.

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  (631): My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you. http://tfl.nu/4nkq
  Replies (7) Good night (5208) Bad night (898) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  yes

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?

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  (601): ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest? (1-601): yes (601): did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me? http://tfl.nu/1ahx
  Replies (13) Good night (4743) Bad night (802)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.

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  (229): Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night. http://tfl.nu/4bxb
  Replies (10) Good night (4690) Bad night (1490) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday

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  (610): Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday http://tfl.nu/c2dx
  Replies (12) Good night (4584) Bad night (807) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible

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  (925): I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible http://tfl.nu/u9b3
  Replies (16) Good night (4153) Bad night (977) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.

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  (505): I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight. http://tfl.nu/l9kd
  Replies (5) Good night (3916) Bad night (741)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.

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  (631): Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick. http://tfl.nu/pj3f
  Replies (12) Good night (3845) Bad night (857) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.

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  (248): I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together. http://tfl.nu/x99f
  Replies (11) Good night (3836) Bad night (1321) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit

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  (973): i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit http://tfl.nu/ux8z
  Replies (18) Good night (3801) Bad night (1403) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.

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  (513): And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool. http://tfl.nu/hylh
  Replies (4) Good night (3796) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.

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  (661): I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck. http://tfl.nu/we3a
  Replies (21) Good night (3677) Bad night (1780) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me

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  (714): im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me http://tfl.nu/k37i
  Replies (8) Good night (3403) Bad night (621) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.

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  (540): we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate. http://tfl.nu/t1ac
  Replies (7) Good night (3376) Bad night (1267) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.

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  (410): I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot. http://tfl.nu/03m3
  Replies (15) Good night (2903) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.

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  (215): i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history. http://tfl.nu/28mn
  Replies (12) Good night (2647) Bad night (966) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  who'd you have sex with.

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  (610): terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions. (1-610): who'd you have sex with. http://tfl.nu/97tl
  Replies (12) Good night (2113) Bad night (4037) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him

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  (847): I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him http://tfl.nu/klkz
  Replies (12) Good night (1768) Bad night (3031) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.

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  (908): Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution. http://tfl.nu/ms1p
  Replies (2) Good night (1687) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i can't wait to go to hell

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure

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  (248): i can't wait to go to hell (1-248): yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure http://tfl.nu/7pwb
  Replies (2) Good night (1407) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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  (754): View more from Florida

  He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?

  (954): View more from Florida

  In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?

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  (754): He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach? (954): In the hopes he'll just put it in one day? http://tfl.nu/u4da
  Replies (100) Good night (1316) Bad night (8058)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom

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  (206): He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom http://tfl.nu/tvji
  Replies (25) Good night (1302) Bad night (4168) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about

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  (218): Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about http://tfl.nu/idfh
  Replies (23) Good night (1282) Bad night (6080) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text

  (434): View more from Virginia

  then give me ur phone

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  NEVER!!

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  (434): u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it (1-434): but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text (434): then give me ur phone (1-434): NEVER!! http://tfl.nu/jzom
  Replies (3) Good night (1070) Bad night (418)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.

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  (515): The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle. http://tfl.nu/73sv
  Replies (4) Good night (621) Bad night (2069) Order T-Shirt