Texts From Last Night

epikfail's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1628) Good night (168267) Bad night (42159) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again. http://tfl.nu/qw6q
  Replies (50) Good night (19644) Bad night (1993) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course. http://tfl.nu/y9iu
  Replies (55) Good night (15891) Bad night (1250)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status. http://tfl.nu/kzoi
  Replies (43) Good night (14865) Bad night (1134) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain". http://tfl.nu/ukpa
  Replies (26) Good night (14320) Bad night (1059) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops http://tfl.nu/ldeo
  Replies (19) Good night (12589) Bad night (836) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now. http://tfl.nu/xddc
  Replies (17) Good night (11375) Bad night (896) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean. http://tfl.nu/fik0
  Replies (44) Good night (9966) Bad night (1014) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night" http://tfl.nu/prxk
  Replies (20) Good night (8424) Bad night (1138) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up. http://tfl.nu/oxuw
  Replies (26) Good night (7901) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate http://tfl.nu/fqo5
  Replies (32) Good night (7741) Bad night (529) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop

  (213): View more from California

  so that means christmas in space?

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop (213): so that means christmas in space? (781): imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi http://tfl.nu/5ssx
  Replies (14) Good night (6856) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco. http://tfl.nu/8uv1
  Replies (19) Good night (6683) Bad night (814) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk. http://tfl.nu/el36
  Replies (12) Good night (6590) Bad night (1137) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever. http://tfl.nu/jt2o
  Replies (8) Good night (6560) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts. http://tfl.nu/k2p7
  Replies (18) Good night (6392) Bad night (820) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to http://tfl.nu/6uk1
  Replies (36) Good night (6206) Bad night (2016) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet? http://tfl.nu/uydl
  Replies (9) Good night (6026) Bad night (766) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success. http://tfl.nu/yoei
  Replies (16) Good night (5954) Bad night (783) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments http://tfl.nu/peng
  Replies (7) Good night (5829) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example. http://tfl.nu/aei8
  Replies (23) Good night (5773) Bad night (589) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes? http://tfl.nu/r1tf
  Replies (14) Good night (4894) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats. http://tfl.nu/tu2s
  Replies (17) Good night (4485) Bad night (1481) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far. http://tfl.nu/f1u5
  Replies (20) Good night (4019) Bad night (681) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex.. http://tfl.nu/ynb7
  Replies (121) Good night (3910) Bad night (62195) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (580): Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it. http://tfl.nu/0iyi
  Replies (18) Good night (3540) Bad night (819) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked. http://tfl.nu/x6mr
  Replies (14) Good night (3367) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop. http://tfl.nu/2w6b
  Replies (14) Good night (2789) Bad night (951) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding. http://tfl.nu/o5ps
  Replies (7) Good night (2666) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do http://tfl.nu/chus
  Replies (13) Good night (2315) Bad night (753) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window. http://tfl.nu/6pvh
  Replies (35) Good night (1492) Bad night (8458) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night http://tfl.nu/v4yn
  Replies (73) Good night (1148) Bad night (12717) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line. http://tfl.nu/g6vr
  Replies (7) Good night (681) Bad night (4354) Order T-Shirt