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i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
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