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How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
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