Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.

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  (412): Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out. http://tfl.nu/chur
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?

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  (318): At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving? http://tfl.nu/qz6b
  Replies (7) Good night (2123) Bad night (390)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult

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  (941): Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult http://tfl.nu/exna
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.

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  (720): His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home. (1-720): I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that. http://tfl.nu/5b3q
  Replies (23) Good night (1505) Bad night (388) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  that was THE gayest party i've ever been to

  (1-336): View more from North Carolina

  To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.

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  (336): that was THE gayest party i've ever been to (1-336): To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting. http://tfl.nu/c4g2
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted

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  (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted http://tfl.nu/8l0y
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.

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  (850): Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list. http://tfl.nu/5auq
  Replies (6) Good night (1212) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.

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  (732): Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age. http://tfl.nu/drps
  Replies (5) Good night (1161) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.

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  (505): Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit. http://tfl.nu/tchi
  Replies (3) Good night (1155) Bad night (247) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.

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  (918): he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy. http://tfl.nu/so4p
  Replies (5) Good night (1102) Bad night (2522) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.

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  (816): We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it. http://tfl.nu/u2s4
  Replies (3) Good night (1094) Bad night (321)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

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  (312): We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time. http://tfl.nu/tvg3
  Replies (7) Good night (1022) Bad night (323) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one

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  (307): There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one http://tfl.nu/1hhb
  Replies (8) Good night (907) Bad night (297) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.

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  (307): The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/9x49
  Replies (12) Good night (851) Bad night (265) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Jesus Christ you're perfect.

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  (307): Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday. (303): Jesus Christ you're perfect. http://tfl.nu/7qs9
  Replies (4) Good night (812) Bad night (252)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase

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  (310): I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase http://tfl.nu/ni6z
  Replies (3) Good night (799) Bad night (381) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)

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  (917): Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.) http://tfl.nu/7rgs
  Replies (3) Good night (769) Bad night (308) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.

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  (312): Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown. http://tfl.nu/cr3i
  Replies (1) Good night (714) Bad night (293) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.

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  (520): I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now. http://tfl.nu/zshk
  Replies (8) Good night (712) Bad night (275) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  How's my date look?

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Like a retarded elf

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  In a good way

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  (443): How's my date look? (814): Like a retarded elf (814): In a good way http://tfl.nu/jjcc
  Replies (6) Good night (592) Bad night (582)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo

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  (860): I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo http://tfl.nu/rks3
  Replies (17) Good night (542) Bad night (889)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.

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  (407): You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck. http://tfl.nu/hypr
  Replies (5) Good night (468) Bad night (1142) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.

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  (845): It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons. http://tfl.nu/somr
  Replies (3) Good night (375) Bad night (333) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.

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  (215): It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater. http://tfl.nu/563x
  Replies (5) Good night (296) Bad night (1244) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me

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  (815): This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me http://tfl.nu/y5v6
  Replies (6) Good night (289) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?

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  (859): Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed? http://tfl.nu/3iaa
  Replies (7) Good night (266) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt