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Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
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