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You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
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