Texts From Last Night

snowman87's Favorites Texts:

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop

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  (610): you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop http://tfl.nu/ld3s
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  (619): View more from California

  he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.

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  (619): he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman. http://tfl.nu/fyou
  Replies (6) Good night (680) Bad night (948) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra

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  (904): Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra http://tfl.nu/1ma3
  Replies (8) Good night (308) Bad night (849) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.

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  (818): She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her. http://tfl.nu/k3ta
  Replies (4) Good night (268) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.

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  (514): i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag. http://tfl.nu/q8nn
  Replies (9) Good night (716) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.

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  (914): We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo. http://tfl.nu/ouwj
  Replies (25) Good night (4078) Bad night (425) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?

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  (613): I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/khmv
  Replies (5) Good night (546) Bad night (408)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  soon, soon....

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....

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  (732): soon, soon.... (908): I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus..... http://tfl.nu/hpc3
  Replies (4) Good night (755) Bad night (398)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?

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  (913): She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car? http://tfl.nu/qi3u
  Replies (13) Good night (1158) Bad night (398)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.

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  (214): You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted. http://tfl.nu/igqi
  Replies (7) Good night (2178) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.

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  (317): Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over. http://tfl.nu/42be
  Replies (6) Good night (686) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.

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  (250): There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo. http://tfl.nu/qbed
  Replies (11) Good night (1173) Bad night (337) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  It's blow job season.

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  (515): It's blow job season. http://tfl.nu/1yxc
  Replies (51) Good night (1477) Bad night (321) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.

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  (304): I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck. http://tfl.nu/h7qy
  Replies (3) Good night (747) Bad night (308) Order T-Shirt
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  (424): View more from California

  Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?

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  (424): Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo? http://tfl.nu/93zn
  Replies (24) Good night (974) Bad night (302) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.

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  (901): No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state. http://tfl.nu/kqwr
  Replies (8) Good night (1063) Bad night (298) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.

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  (202): Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home. http://tfl.nu/5j3k
  Replies (4) Good night (612) Bad night (294) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.

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  (501): I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this. http://tfl.nu/a4t5
  Replies (8) Good night (1203) Bad night (270) Order T-Shirt
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."

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  (361): Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again." http://tfl.nu/1lne
  Replies (9) Good night (803) Bad night (258) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.

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  (914): I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have. http://tfl.nu/s46w
  Replies (5) Good night (648) Bad night (255) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm just crazy horny about you

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  (215): I'm just crazy horny about you http://tfl.nu/n9zt
  Replies (11) Good night (1591) Bad night (253) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created

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  (210): With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created http://tfl.nu/4ngz
  Replies (5) Good night (525) Bad night (246) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?

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  (775): Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram? http://tfl.nu/uqso
  Replies (6) Good night (590) Bad night (236) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.

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  (701): I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks. http://tfl.nu/hedo
  Replies (4) Good night (1061) Bad night (228)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?

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  (519): Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break? http://tfl.nu/r3b8
  Replies (15) Good night (1112) Bad night (213) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show

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  (775): Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show http://tfl.nu/uyql
  Replies (4) Good night (1107) Bad night (213) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON

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  (610): BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON http://tfl.nu/ic7e
  Replies (17) Good night (1336) Bad night (200) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America

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  (301): I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America http://tfl.nu/e24l
  Replies (7) Good night (761) Bad night (191) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms

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  (719): I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms http://tfl.nu/gmys
  Replies (5) Good night (832) Bad night (111) Order T-Shirt