Texts From Last Night

cduub's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna. http://tfl.nu/vetf
  Replies (42) Good night (2190) Bad night (7044)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?" http://tfl.nu/jp4f
  Replies (14) Good night (1125) Bad night (5511) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  What happened?....

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): What happened?.... (304): He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm.... http://tfl.nu/j714
  Replies (10) Good night (1528) Bad night (5055)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you. http://tfl.nu/rvgi
  Replies (15) Good night (1574) Bad night (4352) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter. http://tfl.nu/8kyg
  Replies (289) Good night (62243) Bad night (4264)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts. http://tfl.nu/rlkg
  Replies (64) Good night (1386) Bad night (4153) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock... http://tfl.nu/jcau
  Replies (236) Good night (824) Bad night (3623) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them http://tfl.nu/8aam
  Replies (40) Good night (16418) Bad night (2034) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty. http://tfl.nu/9wi8
  Replies (100) Good night (12150) Bad night (1767) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good. http://tfl.nu/bq51
  Replies (98) Good night (27334) Bad night (1731)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Toaster

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you? (316): Toaster http://tfl.nu/fbwm
  Replies (48) Good night (25452) Bad night (1340)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight http://tfl.nu/nfvu
  Replies (48) Good night (12813) Bad night (1313) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme. http://tfl.nu/8vj2
  Replies (12) Good night (7678) Bad night (1197) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight. http://tfl.nu/b4pp
  Replies (32) Good night (6775) Bad night (1190) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her http://tfl.nu/s6o1
  Replies (42) Good night (7799) Bad night (1165) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy" http://tfl.nu/zdbd
  Replies (51) Good night (17616) Bad night (1147) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way. http://tfl.nu/jfrt
  Replies (36) Good night (7176) Bad night (1125) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.

  (561): View more from Florida

  He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class. (561): He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it. http://tfl.nu/mjkl
  Replies (18) Good night (6138) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (234): View more from Ohio

  No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.

  (387): View more from

  I don't know what to judge you more for.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (234): No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods. (387): I don't know what to judge you more for. http://tfl.nu/wm5k
  Replies (18) Good night (3904) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/eh4f
  Replies (30) Good night (7451) Bad night (1053) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home http://tfl.nu/dqj3
  Replies (29) Good night (8811) Bad night (1038) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best. http://tfl.nu/ljti
  Replies (20) Good night (6893) Bad night (1034) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  3some

  (541): View more from Oregon

  You're right, stupid question.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms? (503): 3some (541): You're right, stupid question. http://tfl.nu/lx7x
  Replies (21) Good night (10144) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth http://tfl.nu/kl4h
  Replies (20) Good night (7375) Bad night (909) Order T-Shirt