angorashi's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  happy early fathers day!!!

  (829): View more from Dominican Rep

  im not a father

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  about that...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): happy early fathers day!!! (829): im not a father (843): about that... http://tfl.nu/tk4z
  Replies (225) Good night (7503) Bad night (72136)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1628) Good night (168243) Bad night (42152) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  You got in a fight last night?

  (818): View more from California

  Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.

  (323): View more from California

  Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): You got in a fight last night? (818): Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since. (323): Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you? http://tfl.nu/hf09
  Replies (131) Good night (8265) Bad night (23692)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  three words: i give head

  (770): View more from Georgia

  three words: not that well

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): three words: i give head (770): three words: not that well http://tfl.nu/mukd
  Replies (65) Good night (1179) Bad night (8387)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.

  (1-818): View more from California

  Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night. (1-818): Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit. http://tfl.nu/ras5
  Replies (10) Good night (1065) Bad night (7291)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where. http://tfl.nu/my2r
  Replies (16) Good night (1299) Bad night (6640) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  my secret santa just gave me a pregency test

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): my secret santa just gave me a pregency test http://tfl.nu/rgpa
  Replies (20) Good night (1166) Bad night (6237) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends http://tfl.nu/aaz6
  Replies (40) Good night (2122) Bad night (5944) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her. http://tfl.nu/d96s
  Replies (15) Good night (2832) Bad night (5517) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me (1-425): Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about. http://tfl.nu/mflc
  Replies (39) Good night (2305) Bad night (4837) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die http://tfl.nu/4ks9
  Replies (18) Good night (1088) Bad night (4739) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy. http://tfl.nu/kmxm
  Replies (36) Good night (1658) Bad night (4728) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison. http://tfl.nu/kcq5
  Replies (23) Good night (1590) Bad night (4644) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby" http://tfl.nu/q8vs
  Replies (54) Good night (1819) Bad night (4547) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best http://tfl.nu/79hx
  Replies (19) Good night (1620) Bad night (4463) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes. http://tfl.nu/9iko
  Replies (118) Good night (26868) Bad night (4287) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole. http://tfl.nu/al7a
  Replies (16) Good night (722) Bad night (3925) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear http://tfl.nu/30cm
  Replies (14) Good night (1718) Bad night (3817) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent. http://tfl.nu/g68o
  Replies (7) Good night (1433) Bad night (3721)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking http://tfl.nu/def8
  Replies (14) Good night (854) Bad night (3605) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm fucking your sister right now.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  You motherfucker

  (813): View more from Florida

  She's next.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I'm fucking your sister right now. (1-813): You motherfucker (813): She's next. http://tfl.nu/gaup
  Replies (152) Good night (65376) Bad night (3435)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet. http://tfl.nu/iw4x
  Replies (33) Good night (1077) Bad night (3327) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car. http://tfl.nu/uk3l
  Replies (8) Good night (1838) Bad night (3047) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into. http://tfl.nu/2oug
  Replies (13) Good night (741) Bad night (3046) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse. http://tfl.nu/4gmt
  Replies (35) Good night (9950) Bad night (3028) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle. http://tfl.nu/34ph
  Replies (64) Good night (996) Bad night (2991)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life http://tfl.nu/iybt
  Replies (13) Good night (1324) Bad night (2969) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point. http://tfl.nu/cpsh
  Replies (31) Good night (2295) Bad night (2966) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders. http://tfl.nu/3tbi
  Replies (73) Good night (5984) Bad night (2750) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing. http://tfl.nu/tedj
  Replies (9) Good night (816) Bad night (2629) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess... http://tfl.nu/v82v
  Replies (10) Good night (1088) Bad night (2621) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks. http://tfl.nu/kxma
  Replies (34) Good night (2124) Bad night (2504)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I need hand sanitizer and jesus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I need hand sanitizer and jesus. http://tfl.nu/r3xx
  Replies (15) Good night (1818) Bad night (2451) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men http://tfl.nu/7ncn
  Replies (39) Good night (1041) Bad night (2394) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind. http://tfl.nu/3qxe
  Replies (6) Good night (1291) Bad night (2379) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day. http://tfl.nu/xpns
  Replies (29) Good night (6024) Bad night (2299) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car http://tfl.nu/l192
  Replies (191) Good night (15859) Bad night (2188) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse. http://tfl.nu/chf5
  Replies (6) Good night (950) Bad night (2176) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  I told you I was good to drive

  (1-915): View more from Texas

  dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): I told you I was good to drive (1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate http://tfl.nu/7qaj
  Replies (53) Good night (72035) Bad night (2121) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now. http://tfl.nu/xg11
  Replies (16) Good night (6662) Bad night (2090) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam.. http://tfl.nu/opqs
  Replies (30) Good night (3249) Bad night (2066) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  youre so sexy i want your bod

  (410): View more from Maryland

  dude, did you turn gay?

  (949): View more from California

  heather?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  this is jacob

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): youre so sexy i want your bod (410): dude, did you turn gay? (949): heather? (410): this is jacob http://tfl.nu/gn2b
  Replies (14) Good night (953) Bad night (1942)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away http://tfl.nu/zrix
  Replies (17) Good night (3628) Bad night (1896) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan. http://tfl.nu/jf6q
  Replies (41) Good night (11573) Bad night (1884) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  dying kittens.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner? (1-201): dying kittens. http://tfl.nu/66tr
  Replies (19) Good night (678) Bad night (1842) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay http://tfl.nu/s2rn
  Replies (65) Good night (20504) Bad night (1811) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil http://tfl.nu/oyvg
  Replies (19) Good night (8521) Bad night (1730) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job. http://tfl.nu/97jt
  Replies (18) Good night (7901) Bad night (1708) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that" http://tfl.nu/ec8j
  Replies (11) Good night (7837) Bad night (1634)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship http://tfl.nu/p7or
  Replies (15) Good night (3620) Bad night (1624) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back. http://tfl.nu/wq3e
  Replies (11) Good night (4320) Bad night (1605) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type. (1-813): Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type. http://tfl.nu/055q
  Replies (90) Good night (7861) Bad night (1540) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach. http://tfl.nu/dziv
  Replies (44) Good night (3965) Bad night (1536) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it. http://tfl.nu/9xxm
  Replies (8) Good night (2691) Bad night (1529) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  how could i say no?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka? (1-513): how could i say no? http://tfl.nu/1o9r
  Replies (28) Good night (6282) Bad night (1528) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  She didnt have a camera...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera (908): She didnt have a camera... http://tfl.nu/89kt
  Replies (6) Good night (872) Bad night (1523)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit. http://tfl.nu/agun
  Replies (19) Good night (5683) Bad night (1506) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm going to jail i love you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I'm going to jail i love you http://tfl.nu/f32n
  Replies (16) Good night (892) Bad night (1463) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out. http://tfl.nu/tea7
  Replies (14) Good night (7725) Bad night (1446) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (575): Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again. http://tfl.nu/4z0a
  Replies (5) Good night (3943) Bad night (1445) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I love you!

  (323): View more from California

  You're insane

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): I love you! (323): You're insane (702): Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u! (702): Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha http://tfl.nu/wtaa
  Replies (8) Good night (934) Bad night (1444)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants. http://tfl.nu/zw7z
  Replies (14) Good night (3295) Bad night (1442) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805) she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat. http://tfl.nu/up7k
  Replies (12) Good night (1173) Bad night (1431) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  and then ....

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas. (1-215): and then .... (215): he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut. http://tfl.nu/qu6h
  Replies (24) Good night (5897) Bad night (1428)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake" http://tfl.nu/m7yz
  Replies (12) Good night (3075) Bad night (1420) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING (617): you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me. http://tfl.nu/bj47
  Replies (33) Good night (8168) Bad night (1412)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating. http://tfl.nu/umg8
  Replies (34) Good night (17060) Bad night (1405) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon

  (1-631): View more from New York

  wow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon (1-631): wow. http://tfl.nu/6n98
  Replies (20) Good night (4569) Bad night (1371) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong. http://tfl.nu/8xt9
  Replies (6) Good night (803) Bad night (1368) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma http://tfl.nu/lc92
  Replies (24) Good night (9099) Bad night (1341)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal..... http://tfl.nu/xm36
  Replies (29) Good night (6424) Bad night (1340)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.

  (1-916): View more from California

  your optimism is becoming unhealthy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day. (1-916): your optimism is becoming unhealthy http://tfl.nu/nzqt
  Replies (9) Good night (4225) Bad night (1332) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Why am I in a dog kennel?

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  It was for your own safety

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): Why am I in a dog kennel? (1-803): It was for your own safety http://tfl.nu/w7ni
  Replies (27) Good night (12868) Bad night (1328) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe. http://tfl.nu/c8em
  Replies (14) Good night (5981) Bad night (1319) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs. http://tfl.nu/67s4
  Replies (57) Good night (20734) Bad night (1314) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck http://tfl.nu/nvzw
  Replies (20) Good night (6177) Bad night (1307) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids. http://tfl.nu/o5lf
  Replies (15) Good night (3083) Bad night (1291)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works. http://tfl.nu/ca8d
  Replies (4) Good night (5612) Bad night (1291) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): Hope the move went well! I'll miss you! (832): you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there. http://tfl.nu/n7dn
  Replies (21) Good night (1304) Bad night (1267)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston, we have a problem

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  where are u?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Houston, we have a problem (781): where are u? (617): Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here. http://tfl.nu/zyw6
  Replies (44) Good night (14906) Bad night (1264)
• Favorite

  (+33): View more from France

  On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+33): On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..." http://tfl.nu/o65f
  Replies (26) Good night (7674) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs" http://tfl.nu/8pn3
  Replies (14) Good night (6403) Bad night (1259) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears. http://tfl.nu/acnv
  Replies (41) Good night (12528) Bad night (1255) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall http://tfl.nu/usfu
  Replies (4) Good night (3892) Bad night (1243) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments http://tfl.nu/zq97
  Replies (15) Good night (4260) Bad night (1236) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I dont have a dog?

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  WTF

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it (508): I dont have a dog? (774): WTF http://tfl.nu/8rlm
  Replies (7) Good night (715) Bad night (1231)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent http://tfl.nu/74gr
  Replies (14) Good night (6229) Bad night (1228) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand. http://tfl.nu/k6dt
  Replies (26) Good night (6644) Bad night (1214)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox http://tfl.nu/xijk
  Replies (15) Good night (3427) Bad night (1211) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN. http://tfl.nu/2o4b
  Replies (33) Good night (14206) Bad night (1203) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You? http://tfl.nu/i2et
  Replies (26) Good night (7269) Bad night (1197) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  You guys make me sad

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You misspelled jealous there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone. (540): You guys make me sad (703): You misspelled jealous there http://tfl.nu/wtst
  Replies (23) Good night (11498) Bad night (1196)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it. http://tfl.nu/d686
  Replies (31) Good night (5125) Bad night (1196) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference http://tfl.nu/k6zm
  Replies (33) Good night (6562) Bad night (1195) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college... http://tfl.nu/a15y
  Replies (23) Good night (11641) Bad night (1189) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown. (+44): before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN http://tfl.nu/72q0
  Replies (28) Good night (8444) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Say it nicely.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Say it nicely. (1-303): Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy? http://tfl.nu/5ned
  Replies (51) Good night (16200) Bad night (1166) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning. http://tfl.nu/70c1
  Replies (14) Good night (5043) Bad night (1146) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up. http://tfl.nu/oxuw
  Replies (26) Good night (7899) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer. http://tfl.nu/u6do
  Replies (13) Good night (5943) Bad night (1133) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status. http://tfl.nu/kzoi
  Replies (43) Good night (14865) Bad night (1131) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  So glad I found your sister.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find. (443): So glad I found your sister. http://tfl.nu/p3yp
  Replies (36) Good night (9702) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY http://tfl.nu/b20j
  Replies (14) Good night (6666) Bad night (1127) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Previous statement retracted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay. (828): Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner (864): Previous statement retracted. http://tfl.nu/e7pe
  Replies (46) Good night (13137) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  "people in the room" being me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine. (336): "people in the room" being me. http://tfl.nu/hpsj
  Replies (12) Good night (5420) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her? http://tfl.nu/n019
  Replies (15) Good night (7584) Bad night (1106) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  True romance of the 21st century.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too. (1-410): True romance of the 21st century. http://tfl.nu/laza
  Replies (62) Good night (13047) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing. http://tfl.nu/4y7p
  Replies (9) Good night (5919) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy. http://tfl.nu/h3zi
  Replies (16) Good night (6948) Bad night (1080) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense http://tfl.nu/p2yr
  Replies (26) Good night (8219) Bad night (1078) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it. http://tfl.nu/0ggm
  Replies (37) Good night (13193) Bad night (1071) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way http://tfl.nu/s2k7
  Replies (3) Good night (797) Bad night (1070) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween http://tfl.nu/fww2
  Replies (38) Good night (6121) Bad night (1053) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often. http://tfl.nu/6bnz
  Replies (31) Good night (10361) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty. http://tfl.nu/tep7
  Replies (30) Good night (14482) Bad night (1048)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song http://tfl.nu/pqc4
  Replies (20) Good night (3970) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm http://tfl.nu/q9qn
  Replies (13) Good night (3098) Bad night (1037) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo http://tfl.nu/rg6x
  Replies (36) Good night (5916) Bad night (1036) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy. http://tfl.nu/c9sd
  Replies (18) Good night (4530) Bad night (1028) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location http://tfl.nu/jdkq
  Replies (16) Good night (9244) Bad night (1026) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink http://tfl.nu/i8us
  Replies (9) Good night (6173) Bad night (1025) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n http://tfl.nu/pe4m
  Replies (21) Good night (11876) Bad night (1011) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  fireball beer pong. youre missing out

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  how is that even possible?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ove gloves.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  be there in ten.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): fireball beer pong. youre missing out (732): how is that even possible? (908): ove gloves. (732): be there in ten. http://tfl.nu/dpvx
  Replies (30) Good night (8781) Bad night (1008)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches http://tfl.nu/f64u
  Replies (19) Good night (3863) Bad night (1004) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party http://tfl.nu/osnp
  Replies (23) Good night (7186) Bad night (1002) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/r7p2
  Replies (7) Good night (5460) Bad night (994) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops. http://tfl.nu/2l9n
  Replies (11) Good night (4507) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen? http://tfl.nu/ze7l
  Replies (9) Good night (4347) Bad night (986) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work http://tfl.nu/3682
  Replies (16) Good night (3194) Bad night (981) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us http://tfl.nu/w5tj
  Replies (2) Good night (2212) Bad night (981) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program. http://tfl.nu/1rj5
  Replies (14) Good night (4921) Bad night (979) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Are you high?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"? (1-630): Are you high? http://tfl.nu/3xxd
  Replies (21) Good night (6439) Bad night (977) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you. http://tfl.nu/ohi7
  Replies (39) Good night (673) Bad night (974) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy http://tfl.nu/hjxb
  Replies (31) Good night (5433) Bad night (971) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  we're about an hour out, how's the weather?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): we're about an hour out, how's the weather? (720): cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home. http://tfl.nu/na0o
  Replies (14) Good night (5928) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear. http://tfl.nu/2r4l
  Replies (18) Good night (7588) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster. http://tfl.nu/p7ub
  Replies (109) Good night (12989) Bad night (963) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name http://tfl.nu/d4zs
  Replies (12) Good night (3740) Bad night (960) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing. http://tfl.nu/wqpy
  Replies (7) Good night (4070) Bad night (958) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you. http://tfl.nu/pv7t
  Replies (11) Good night (7288) Bad night (956) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.

  (352): View more from Florida

  And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye. (352): And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave. http://tfl.nu/f5gq
  Replies (8) Good night (4912) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago. http://tfl.nu/b9vc
  Replies (21) Good night (4681) Bad night (950) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered. http://tfl.nu/j70b
  Replies (10) Good night (7551) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute. http://tfl.nu/bjrt
  Replies (11) Good night (491) Bad night (943) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks http://tfl.nu/8135
  Replies (11) Good night (4280) Bad night (940) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard. http://tfl.nu/diwn
  Replies (15) Good night (4434) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends http://tfl.nu/3n1u
  Replies (7) Good night (3675) Bad night (929) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed http://tfl.nu/2d65
  Replies (25) Good night (3809) Bad night (926) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox http://tfl.nu/t30w
  Replies (38) Good night (8261) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining. http://tfl.nu/owux
  Replies (14) Good night (5213) Bad night (917) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem http://tfl.nu/9xlk
  Replies (16) Good night (5170) Bad night (916) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real. http://tfl.nu/s47d
  Replies (13) Good night (6827) Bad night (913) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade http://tfl.nu/l96w
  Replies (9) Good night (4413) Bad night (911) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos. http://tfl.nu/2qr6
  Replies (8) Good night (2905) Bad night (899) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Will you be topless? That will affect my answer. http://tfl.nu/lf7u
  Replies (19) Good night (6044) Bad night (898) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style. http://tfl.nu/lnre
  Replies (30) Good night (10660) Bad night (898) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now. http://tfl.nu/xddc
  Replies (17) Good night (11372) Bad night (895) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry. http://tfl.nu/0btw
  Replies (13) Good night (8609) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. . http://tfl.nu/zh9v
  Replies (24) Good night (7426) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  did you make any bad decisions?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): did you make any bad decisions? (248): many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that http://tfl.nu/nmou
  Replies (15) Good night (661) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed. http://tfl.nu/ytov
  Replies (15) Good night (4870) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock? http://tfl.nu/k7ck
  Replies (27) Good night (5983) Bad night (872) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid" http://tfl.nu/i4ng
  Replies (12) Good night (5230) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on? http://tfl.nu/pffh
  Replies (54) Good night (9896) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  go home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy (203): go home http://tfl.nu/91uo
  Replies (28) Good night (6833) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  you guys were way drunker than both of me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): you guys were way drunker than both of me http://tfl.nu/x140
  Replies (11) Good night (9248) Bad night (861) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  youre welcome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.." (1-201): youre welcome http://tfl.nu/sjha
  Replies (10) Good night (5581) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense http://tfl.nu/p3xl
  Replies (11) Good night (6155) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind. http://tfl.nu/8l0m
  Replies (57) Good night (12240) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Five things that make you perfect. Go.

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): Five things that make you perfect. Go. (1-918): The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses. http://tfl.nu/ni7m
  Replies (26) Good night (6211) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT. http://tfl.nu/gdsf
  Replies (6) Good night (5041) Bad night (842) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America http://tfl.nu/nfrq
  Replies (24) Good night (6584) Bad night (839) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick. http://tfl.nu/djhd
  Replies (23) Good night (7150) Bad night (837) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision" http://tfl.nu/cg26
  Replies (3) Good night (2141) Bad night (834) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club http://tfl.nu/6yea
  Replies (8) Good night (5141) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday. http://tfl.nu/t9ad
  Replies (9) Good night (3607) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back http://tfl.nu/1qlt
  Replies (16) Good night (7184) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Can i not drive my cunt home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Can i not drive my cunt home http://tfl.nu/l3bm
  Replies (5) Good night (561) Bad night (811) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.

  (1-321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  no his phone, idiot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot. (1-321): he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn. (321): no his phone, idiot. http://tfl.nu/beyf
  Replies (43) Good night (9397) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality http://tfl.nu/hof4
  Replies (6) Good night (689) Bad night (808) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were. http://tfl.nu/skxs
  Replies (5) Good night (5180) Bad night (807) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit". http://tfl.nu/1ezf
  Replies (23) Good night (8081) Bad night (805) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you? http://tfl.nu/5voi
  Replies (13) Good night (5280) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  69 |D_O

  (1-602): View more from Arizona

  wtf does that mean??

  (602): View more from Arizona

  it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): 69 |D_O (1-602): wtf does that mean?? (602): it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently" http://tfl.nu/6ega
  Replies (59) Good night (7238) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad. http://tfl.nu/gbnx
  Replies (16) Good night (6769) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine... http://tfl.nu/msgo
  Replies (34) Good night (12707) Bad night (796) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses http://tfl.nu/98sm
  Replies (10) Good night (2556) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this? http://tfl.nu/woh0
  Replies (9) Good night (5204) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face. http://tfl.nu/ktzo
  Replies (26) Good night (3721) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit http://tfl.nu/gr8g
  Replies (13) Good night (2948) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods http://tfl.nu/gefu
  Replies (3) Good night (558) Bad night (778) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  y did u give ur computer a hand job?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): y did u give ur computer a hand job? http://tfl.nu/nk4j
  Replies (4) Good night (539) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was. http://tfl.nu/20o3
  Replies (6) Good night (3614) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+54): View more from

  look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+54): look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels. http://tfl.nu/ux1z
  Replies (11) Good night (7068) Bad night (769) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means. http://tfl.nu/woys
  Replies (9) Good night (3678) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game. http://tfl.nu/3l6w
  Replies (9) Good night (4800) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked. http://tfl.nu/a12i
  Replies (9) Good night (4709) Bad night (764) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either. http://tfl.nu/j4vn
  Replies (5) Good night (3649) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  i have one question about last night

  (646): View more from New York

  if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): i have one question about last night (646): if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain http://tfl.nu/69sr
  Replies (4) Good night (4190) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years. http://tfl.nu/9khg
  Replies (78) Good night (6680) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school

  (1-914): View more from New York

  oh right the one that ends on your bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school (1-914): oh right the one that ends on your bed http://tfl.nu/wrnw
  Replies (8) Good night (6109) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (971): So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully" http://tfl.nu/lw3x
  Replies (12) Good night (10450) Bad night (753) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you http://tfl.nu/mzki
  Replies (13) Good night (995) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes. http://tfl.nu/mn0w
  Replies (9) Good night (3465) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot

  (313): View more from Michigan

  He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot (313): He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all http://tfl.nu/6st3
  Replies (23) Good night (7544) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere http://tfl.nu/0d9e
  Replies (10) Good night (3710) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (132): View more from

  if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (132): if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder http://tfl.nu/48fa
  Replies (43) Good night (1253) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends. (1-303): At about the same time you guys weren't burritos. http://tfl.nu/mxci
  Replies (27) Good night (7816) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date. http://tfl.nu/ovv7
  Replies (3) Good night (2829) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life http://tfl.nu/ewvo
  Replies (152) Good night (3616) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  how was your day?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): how was your day? (404): fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i? http://tfl.nu/0urf
  Replies (21) Good night (9100) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card http://tfl.nu/wrdz
  Replies (4) Good night (3093) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance. http://tfl.nu/vgvp
  Replies (69) Good night (8805) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell. http://tfl.nu/z3u3
  Replies (21) Good night (6111) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college. http://tfl.nu/9le9
  Replies (14) Good night (6691) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls. (1-614): Which beats the fuck out of good intentions. http://tfl.nu/vjhv
  Replies (30) Good night (5830) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Rock

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Scissors

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Fuck

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Rock (630): Scissors (630): Fuck http://tfl.nu/tdxv
  Replies (15) Good night (2397) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life http://tfl.nu/pj1v
  Replies (16) Good night (7556) Bad night (673) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark http://tfl.nu/xtgk
  Replies (4) Good night (2857) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night http://tfl.nu/y3ii
  Replies (45) Good night (3513) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant. http://tfl.nu/wa98
  Replies (26) Good night (6612) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon' http://tfl.nu/xx25
  Replies (19) Good night (3460) Bad night (652) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police

  (616): View more from Michigan

  What?!?

  (810): View more from Michigan

  What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police (616): What?!? (810): What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police http://tfl.nu/unre
  Replies (20) Good night (4435) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers http://tfl.nu/269f
  Replies (6) Good night (3557) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic. http://tfl.nu/t71g
  Replies (12) Good night (3882) Bad night (638) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars, http://tfl.nu/j4u2
  Replies (14) Good night (4950) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur http://tfl.nu/hhzt
  Replies (36) Good night (11723) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town. http://tfl.nu/jjq0
  Replies (82) Good night (6240) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls. http://tfl.nu/0cx7
  Replies (12) Good night (3144) Bad night (614) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside http://tfl.nu/0lr5
  Replies (26) Good night (5308) Bad night (613) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Lets date for the summer

  (815): View more from Illinois

  what?

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Dont love me in September.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Lets date for the summer (815): what? (480): Dont love me in September. http://tfl.nu/x30e
  Replies (8) Good night (2060) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave. http://tfl.nu/m2vh
  Replies (30) Good night (3874) Bad night (603) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!

  (812): View more from Indiana

  ?

  (646): View more from New York

  Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE! (812): ? (646): Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that? http://tfl.nu/5o1s
  Replies (37) Good night (3389) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA http://tfl.nu/d77g
  Replies (14) Good night (4618) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant. http://tfl.nu/hikv
  Replies (1) Good night (1882) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science. http://tfl.nu/ee2g
  Replies (20) Good night (6892) Bad night (576) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is. http://tfl.nu/0bg6
  Replies (13) Good night (2139) Bad night (563) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did http://tfl.nu/f390
  Replies (14) Good night (3716) Bad night (561) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): my new favorite insult= "thundercunt" http://tfl.nu/7c82
  Replies (48) Good night (4052) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me. http://tfl.nu/e0xw
  Replies (57) Good night (3728) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect. http://tfl.nu/w6ad
  Replies (17) Good night (1143) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Joe is yelling at the trees again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Joe is yelling at the trees again. http://tfl.nu/dpjn
  Replies (26) Good night (3801) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them http://tfl.nu/yhv5
  Replies (2) Good night (1213) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches http://tfl.nu/0tvi
  Replies (6) Good night (3874) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon! http://tfl.nu/qgqr
  Replies (20) Good night (4764) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills. http://tfl.nu/kjxm
  Replies (9) Good night (1502) Bad night (529) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Sounds like a really classy character....

  (478): View more from Georgia

  He is classy. It was argyle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis (410): Sounds like a really classy character.... (478): He is classy. It was argyle. http://tfl.nu/j1fr
  Replies (18) Good night (6429) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts. http://tfl.nu/90f4
  Replies (11) Good night (3259) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss http://tfl.nu/k4jz
  Replies (4) Good night (921) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore. http://tfl.nu/ktqn
  Replies (8) Good night (1930) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective. http://tfl.nu/9jpo
  Replies (28) Good night (5253) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts http://tfl.nu/gdmu
  Replies (13) Good night (2493) Bad night (501) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers http://tfl.nu/anad
  Replies (33) Good night (8214) Bad night (500) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now http://tfl.nu/6uxz
  Replies (21) Good night (4887) Bad night (500) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  dude i'm inner monologue high

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): dude i'm inner monologue high http://tfl.nu/4ebt
  Replies (21) Good night (4092) Bad night (497) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see! http://tfl.nu/gbe5
  Replies (7) Good night (4527) Bad night (495) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.

  (661): View more from California

  Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED. (661): Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand. http://tfl.nu/omij
  Replies (16) Good night (3465) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Ur type is ready and willing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type... (515): Ur type is ready and willing http://tfl.nu/9xaj
  Replies (13) Good night (1528) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up http://tfl.nu/uhz5
  Replies (17) Good night (4968) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  honey you're def caucasian

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann (803): honey you're def caucasian (704): i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z http://tfl.nu/jt3t
  Replies (4) Good night (1400) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.

  (347): View more from New York

  And what brought this epiphany?

  (646): View more from New York

  I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on. (347): And what brought this epiphany? (646): I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later http://tfl.nu/hsai
  Replies (27) Good night (3277) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I just pynch a tree in the face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I just pynch a tree in the face http://tfl.nu/eknu
  Replies (6) Good night (1097) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Hey you

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Hey you (732): You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up? http://tfl.nu/ejs0
  Replies (42) Good night (2185) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness http://tfl.nu/nepk
  Replies (34) Good night (7484) Bad night (435) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  tequila

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub? (1-250): tequila http://tfl.nu/yi12
  Replies (12) Good night (5094) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine' http://tfl.nu/z72n
  Replies (7) Good night (2416) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood. http://tfl.nu/9bbv
  Replies (10) Good night (1451) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool. http://tfl.nu/25pz
  Replies (1) Good night (882) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/igis
  Replies (6) Good night (1248) Bad night (395) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work. http://tfl.nu/cih1
  Replies (2) Good night (1056) Bad night (324) Order T-Shirt