Texts From Last Night · Red

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.

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(617): He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up. http://tfl.nu/h2lf

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(703): View more from Virginia

I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.

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(703): I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes. http://tfl.nu/i5s6

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(304): View more from West Virginia

She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments

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(304): She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments http://tfl.nu/75se

Replies (87) Good night (14308) Bad night (2668) Order T-Shirt
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.

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(651): I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old. http://tfl.nu/njv7

Replies (13) Good night (5366) Bad night (1773) Order T-Shirt
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(713): View more from Texas

I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.

(512): View more from Texas

babe, don't say it like that!

(713): View more from Texas

I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.

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(713): I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight. (512): babe, don't say it like that! (713): I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening. http://tfl.nu/iuma

Replies (139) Good night (38535) Bad night (1467)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING

(617): View more from Massachusetts

you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.

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(978): I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING (617): you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me. http://tfl.nu/bj47

Replies (33) Good night (8169) Bad night (1413)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.

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(702): I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad. http://tfl.nu/4uh2

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(224): View more from Illinois

so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.

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(224): so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now. http://tfl.nu/4hn1

Replies (33) Good night (12555) Bad night (1310)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?

(1-918): View more from Oklahoma

Woah.

(918): View more from Oklahoma

that's not how you spell hell yes.

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(918): you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you? (1-918): Woah. (918): that's not how you spell hell yes. http://tfl.nu/i519

Replies (56) Good night (7295) Bad night (1095)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "

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(405): i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it. (1-405): i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. " http://tfl.nu/mvrv

Replies (40) Good night (9558) Bad night (922)
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(816): View more from Missouri

My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.

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(816): My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won. http://tfl.nu/68w0

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.

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(306): They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties. http://tfl.nu/2id3

Replies (24) Good night (9883) Bad night (819)
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(830): View more from Texas

If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice

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(830): If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice http://tfl.nu/5b32

Replies (37) Good night (3612) Bad night (628)
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(216): View more from Ohio

you turned your livingroom into a bong?

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(216): you turned your livingroom into a bong? http://tfl.nu/pj3a

Replies (27) Good night (4356) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt

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