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I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
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