Texts From Last Night

Masturch33f's Favorites Texts:

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am

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  (570): she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am http://tfl.nu/vths
  Replies (21) Good night (1234) Bad night (3439) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.

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  (717): If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving. http://tfl.nu/mp36
  Replies (7) Good night (802) Bad night (2370) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret

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  (613): Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret http://tfl.nu/ksru
  Replies (53) Good night (1400) Bad night (2298) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.

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  (314): I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though. http://tfl.nu/qm3u
  Replies (18) Good night (5625) Bad night (1643) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.

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  (701): First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to. http://tfl.nu/orps
  Replies (9) Good night (2834) Bad night (1334) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.

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  (510): I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass. http://tfl.nu/spz3
  Replies (24) Good night (6473) Bad night (1294) Order T-Shirt
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.

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  (228): you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out. http://tfl.nu/9xp5
  Replies (19) Good night (3682) Bad night (1265) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?

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  (716): my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in? http://tfl.nu/3561
  Replies (18) Good night (5985) Bad night (1231) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.

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  (612): The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable. http://tfl.nu/wu9y
  Replies (20) Good night (3448) Bad night (1179) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time

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  (719): She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time http://tfl.nu/gadq
  Replies (21) Good night (6564) Bad night (1132) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"

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  (763): I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?" http://tfl.nu/jpwl
  Replies (7) Good night (2138) Bad night (1118) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.

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  (412): I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go. http://tfl.nu/523r
  Replies (12) Good night (3881) Bad night (1052) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.

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  (954): Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish. http://tfl.nu/zg18
  Replies (25) Good night (4756) Bad night (1025) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.

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  (937): She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable. http://tfl.nu/xs8x
  Replies (10) Good night (2638) Bad night (1012) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.

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  (941): i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet. http://tfl.nu/jjy9
  Replies (13) Good night (3537) Bad night (1006) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.

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  (217): Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls. http://tfl.nu/z40q
  Replies (16) Good night (4240) Bad night (1002) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started

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  (847): then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started http://tfl.nu/q84m
  Replies (15) Good night (4223) Bad night (988) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?

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  (614): He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual? http://tfl.nu/dfsm
  Replies (7) Good night (2569) Bad night (966) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...

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  (406): apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone... http://tfl.nu/2d2g
  Replies (12) Good night (4427) Bad night (948) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.

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  (203): Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed. http://tfl.nu/aqi9
  Replies (6) Good night (3607) Bad night (933) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.

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  (513): I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake. http://tfl.nu/fip9
  Replies (8) Good night (4129) Bad night (925) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.

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  (815): you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night. http://tfl.nu/m1vr
  Replies (6) Good night (3249) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel

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  (417): Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel http://tfl.nu/ki9k
  Replies (11) Good night (2192) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit

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  (405): You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit http://tfl.nu/wkkh
  Replies (8) Good night (2185) Bad night (875) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.

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  (801): He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up. http://tfl.nu/2vsu
  Replies (4) Good night (2824) Bad night (868) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?

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  (407): Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives? http://tfl.nu/s936
  Replies (22) Good night (3593) Bad night (864) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore

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  (208): Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore http://tfl.nu/7jsm
  Replies (11) Good night (3613) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
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  (61): View more from Australia

  Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed

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  (61): Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed http://tfl.nu/qr9l
  Replies (10) Good night (4498) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
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  (578): View more from

  You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"

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  (578): You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide" http://tfl.nu/y8fp
  Replies (6) Good night (2902) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."

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  (717): She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen." http://tfl.nu/c7q3
  Replies (32) Good night (9259) Bad night (789) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.

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  (631): Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight. http://tfl.nu/prjm
  Replies (5) Good night (2034) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Did everyone make it back alive?

  (309): View more from Illinois

  You say that with such hope.

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Is that a no?

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  (217): Did everyone make it back alive? (309): You say that with such hope. (217): Is that a no? http://tfl.nu/rkmk
  Replies (3) Good night (3112) Bad night (777)
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  (01): View more from

  He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.

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  (01): He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates. http://tfl.nu/mdzx
  Replies (6) Good night (2703) Bad night (745) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage

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  (406): I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage http://tfl.nu/3msa
  Replies (14) Good night (3097) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.

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  (217): I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in. http://tfl.nu/j76d
  Replies (7) Good night (3336) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Drunk

  (845): View more from New York

  Deyhxbr

  (845): View more from New York

  Fucaerrrrr

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  (845): Drunk (845): Deyhxbr (845): Fucaerrrrr http://tfl.nu/ddt4
  Replies (10) Good night (2515) Bad night (568)