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It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
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