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happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
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