Texts From Last Night

Asheon's Favorites Texts:

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  (519): View more from Ontario

  due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.

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  (519): due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron. http://tfl.nu/58sn
  Replies (21) Good night (8865) Bad night (1001)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.

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  (252): I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet. http://tfl.nu/v8co
  Replies (11) Good night (4824) Bad night (1011) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi

  (214): View more from Texas

  ok, stay where you are, be there soon

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  (508): hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi (214): ok, stay where you are, be there soon http://tfl.nu/1y99
  Replies (55) Good night (2356) Bad night (610)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.

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  (336): While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus. http://tfl.nu/10to
  Replies (16) Good night (5371) Bad night (1036)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.

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  (416): She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me. http://tfl.nu/1tg4
  Replies (16) Good night (1330) Bad night (4827) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja

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  (250): A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja http://tfl.nu/h6o5
  Replies (30) Good night (7302) Bad night (1039)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk

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  (802): you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk http://tfl.nu/784w
  Replies (28) Good night (10057) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.

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  (808): i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon. http://tfl.nu/roae
  Replies (12) Good night (677) Bad night (991)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"

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  (574): no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house" http://tfl.nu/wkle
  Replies (13) Good night (1184) Bad night (8496) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.

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  (708): You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half. http://tfl.nu/enxi
  Replies (13) Good night (6319) Bad night (1034) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.

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  (204): you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested. http://tfl.nu/msf1
  Replies (13) Good night (5427) Bad night (857) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.

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  (480): Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles. http://tfl.nu/jmsm
  Replies (32) Good night (14909) Bad night (653) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk

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  (352): I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk http://tfl.nu/lbo9
  Replies (7) Good night (2883) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  ..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop

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  (514): ..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop http://tfl.nu/2wez
  Replies (21) Good night (6331) Bad night (932) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"

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  (314): he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting" http://tfl.nu/dmjy
  Replies (25) Good night (15144) Bad night (1134) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.

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  (303): You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat. (1-303): ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent. http://tfl.nu/2smi
  Replies (17) Good night (12365) Bad night (1466) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.

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  (330): The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life. http://tfl.nu/g5ok
  Replies (35) Good night (15236) Bad night (1122)