Texts From Last Night

iDirtyDianaX's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole http://tfl.nu/hdrj
  Replies (7) Good night (1949) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old. http://tfl.nu/87vs
  Replies (11) Good night (1917) Bad night (1105) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/7fz1
  Replies (9) Good night (5951) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I know, she tried to drink it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street. (317): I know, she tried to drink it http://tfl.nu/h1z5
  Replies (10) Good night (993) Bad night (2473)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets. http://tfl.nu/r3xp
  Replies (7) Good night (3314) Bad night (611) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover. http://tfl.nu/pxbl
  Replies (8) Good night (3796) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off. http://tfl.nu/ypig
  Replies (27) Good night (5817) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me. http://tfl.nu/kxxf
  Replies (26) Good night (6468) Bad night (1034) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box. http://tfl.nu/99g0
  Replies (14) Good night (4081) Bad night (859) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong. http://tfl.nu/vlez
  Replies (29) Good night (7542) Bad night (668) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life http://tfl.nu/bfvb
  Replies (27) Good night (4433) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4. http://tfl.nu/sr4z
  Replies (383) Good night (128562) Bad night (4085) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I don't get it.

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Me neither.

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  But I masturbated to it anyway.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): I don't get it. (501): Me neither. (501): But I masturbated to it anyway. http://tfl.nu/tklr
  Replies (23) Good night (2032) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support http://tfl.nu/by3u
  Replies (70) Good night (1158) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  no. 1 rule of bromania: no females

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): no. 1 rule of bromania: no females http://tfl.nu/0toi
  Replies (14) Good night (882) Bad night (2018) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism. http://tfl.nu/ixxa
  Replies (15) Good night (2316) Bad night (871) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me. http://tfl.nu/b0dd
  Replies (15) Good night (4128) Bad night (959) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine. http://tfl.nu/2wf3
  Replies (13) Good night (1236) Bad night (2987) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light http://tfl.nu/z2qb
  Replies (5) Good night (1915) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking. http://tfl.nu/z4xo
  Replies (8) Good night (4018) Bad night (1070) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana. http://tfl.nu/vvio
  Replies (42) Good night (1151) Bad night (3316) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex. http://tfl.nu/opu2
  Replies (11) Good night (3812) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it http://tfl.nu/h3ck
  Replies (6) Good night (4124) Bad night (1512) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity. http://tfl.nu/ob6h
  Replies (21) Good night (8008) Bad night (808) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): 24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good. http://tfl.nu/55h0
  Replies (13) Good night (6970) Bad night (676) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice. http://tfl.nu/mmqq
  Replies (12) Good night (4662) Bad night (1556) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened . http://tfl.nu/sz0c
  Replies (10) Good night (4052) Bad night (1976) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night. http://tfl.nu/uc8q
  Replies (5) Good night (6910) Bad night (806) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail. http://tfl.nu/tpxz
  Replies (24) Good night (10071) Bad night (1364) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face. http://tfl.nu/7qv4
  Replies (21) Good night (1203) Bad night (5247) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom." http://tfl.nu/5uyu
  Replies (20) Good night (4698) Bad night (1676) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking. http://tfl.nu/91x5
  Replies (17) Good night (1774) Bad night (5386) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up http://tfl.nu/adeo
  Replies (34) Good night (7349) Bad night (937) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head. http://tfl.nu/a92s
  Replies (25) Good night (4552) Bad night (938) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage. http://tfl.nu/bqw6
  Replies (22) Good night (1730) Bad night (8370)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night. http://tfl.nu/e7sj
  Replies (14) Good night (6660) Bad night (1296) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!

  (678): View more from Georgia

  correction: escorted out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?! (678): correction: escorted out http://tfl.nu/gkul
  Replies (23) Good night (5107) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos. http://tfl.nu/fazf
  Replies (6) Good night (2455) Bad night (1711) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring http://tfl.nu/dlju
  Replies (24) Good night (12334) Bad night (1386) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused." http://tfl.nu/qcvq
  Replies (12) Good night (11375) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends? http://tfl.nu/08w4
  Replies (101) Good night (33958) Bad night (3591) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer. http://tfl.nu/jibz
  Replies (52) Good night (36743) Bad night (1655) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar. (303): Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick. http://tfl.nu/w6wy
  Replies (111) Good night (38495) Bad night (3096)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars (910): IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT http://tfl.nu/70k5
  Replies (82) Good night (39648) Bad night (1961)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal. http://tfl.nu/j0la
  Replies (69) Good night (38122) Bad night (1824)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down http://tfl.nu/yeuq
  Replies (206) Good night (51792) Bad night (2768) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test http://tfl.nu/0qhc
  Replies (77) Good night (51992) Bad night (2044) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade http://tfl.nu/sv7y
  Replies (63) Good night (57117) Bad night (1237)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/73qd
  Replies (444) Good night (112391) Bad night (9779) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star... http://tfl.nu/jbo8
  Replies (491) Good night (133306) Bad night (5808)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward http://tfl.nu/dpap
  Replies (358) Good night (59275) Bad night (7159) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend. (508): i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me. http://tfl.nu/ho6s
  Replies (188) Good night (56950) Bad night (4713)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them http://tfl.nu/zf3d
  Replies (209) Good night (62100) Bad night (2292) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  I told you I was good to drive

  (1-915): View more from Texas

  dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): I told you I was good to drive (1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate http://tfl.nu/7qaj
  Replies (53) Good night (72220) Bad night (2147) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter. http://tfl.nu/8kyg
  Replies (289) Good night (62331) Bad night (4293)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (248) Good night (66809) Bad night (3032) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests http://tfl.nu/dcsh
  Replies (200) Good night (80308) Bad night (4336) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham. http://tfl.nu/ri7m
  Replies (15) Good night (2604) Bad night (1225) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"... http://tfl.nu/2wkl
  Replies (485) Good night (173328) Bad night (6948) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor. http://tfl.nu/z7yu
  Replies (34) Good night (11178) Bad night (1384) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face http://tfl.nu/9y4h
  Replies (55) Good night (21386) Bad night (1256) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  and then ....

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas. (1-215): and then .... (215): he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut. http://tfl.nu/qu6h
  Replies (24) Good night (5907) Bad night (1438)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  dude. I'm so drunk.

  (972): View more from Texas

  pete, this is bryce's mom

  (214): View more from Texas

  I can't wait to have my cock in your ass

  (972): View more from Texas

  pete, this is still bryce's mom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): dude. I'm so drunk. (972): pete, this is bryce's mom (214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass (972): pete, this is still bryce's mom http://tfl.nu/lat0
  Replies (180) Good night (36537) Bad night (5023)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1628) Good night (168553) Bad night (42239) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  Guess she heard her killer coming

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear. (1-973): Guess she heard her killer coming http://tfl.nu/u45m
  Replies (116) Good night (46519) Bad night (2048) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm fucking your sister right now.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  You motherfucker

  (813): View more from Florida

  She's next.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I'm fucking your sister right now. (1-813): You motherfucker (813): She's next. http://tfl.nu/gaup
  Replies (152) Good night (65499) Bad night (3464)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (297) Good night (73545) Bad night (2506) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Previous statement retracted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay. (828): Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner (864): Previous statement retracted. http://tfl.nu/e7pe
  Replies (46) Good night (13173) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay http://tfl.nu/s2rn
  Replies (65) Good night (20557) Bad night (1834) Order T-Shirt