Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.