Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"