'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.