I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back