Texts From Last Night · January, 2013

Texts from January, 2013

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(410): View more from Maryland

Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.

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(410): Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad. http://tfl.nu/fe6u

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.

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(401): He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached. http://tfl.nu/uw2g

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(502): View more from Kentucky

He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.

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(502): He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine. http://tfl.nu/krqd

Replies (5) Good night (219) Bad night (864) Order T-Shirt
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room

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(715): And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room http://tfl.nu/oply

Replies (5) Good night (730) Bad night (269) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.

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(+44): Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection. http://tfl.nu/1vl5

Replies (9) Good night (717) Bad night (198)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.

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(832): I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came. http://tfl.nu/1nw4

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(651): View more from Minnesota

First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.

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(651): First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos. http://tfl.nu/tzt2

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(860): View more from Connecticut

When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."

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(860): When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed." http://tfl.nu/60fs

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(512): View more from Texas

You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.

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(512): You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor. http://tfl.nu/8xpn

Replies (1) Good night (986) Bad night (234)
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(214): View more from Texas

Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea

(214): View more from Texas

WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO

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(214): Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea (214): WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO http://tfl.nu/eu05

Replies (2) Good night (1550) Bad night (269)
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(912): View more from Georgia

her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception

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(912): her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception http://tfl.nu/tr33

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(216): View more from Ohio

Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch

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(216): Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch http://tfl.nu/pevt

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(260): View more from Indiana

Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.

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(260): Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you. http://tfl.nu/7qhe

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(410): View more from Maryland

That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think

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(410): That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think http://tfl.nu/xmfy

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(519): View more from Ontario

I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.

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(519): I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption. http://tfl.nu/y4ti

Replies (1) Good night (533) Bad night (237) Order T-Shirt

Texts from January, 2013

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