If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves