Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.