Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"