I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
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I don't have enough holes for all these australians
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend