I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud