you suck at this game today
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
Love having children with random chicks
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole