you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.