I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.