You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.