You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.