My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.