4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt