no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.