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Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
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