ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.