Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.