A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes