All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.